"BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD WITH US." (Matthew 1: 22-23)
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ... And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1: 1, 14)
As we celebrate the birth of Christ this week, I would like to consider the leadership implications of His coming.
There's a myth that permeates some leadership environments. Its the idea that the leader must be separated from those he or she leads. This involves keeping followers at arms length - or further. In the framework of culture analyst, Geert Hofstede, these leaders maintain a high power distance.
I don't agree.
For some time now, I have been defining leadership as intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship. Unpacking that definition shows that leadership is up close, its personal. It can not be done at a distance. It cannot be done effectively by maintaining a high power distance.
If God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe decided to come and be with us and to dwell among us, how much more should we as human leaders choose to be with those we lead?
We too should be among those we lead.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My Proverbs 31 Woman
31 years ago today I stood in the Marsh living room and exchanged wedding vows with Laura. It was a small, informal ceremony, but all the people who had been significant in my life up to that time were there.
I was nervous. In fact I was sweating so bad that I went outside to cool off. Laura’s dad came outside with me. I have always wondered if he thought I might be bolting at the last minute.
I didn’t bolt. And 31 years later I can say I would do it all over again!
What a wonderful life we have had together. And it just keeps getting better and better!
If you have been around us, you know that I often praise Laura and refer to her as “My Proverbs 31 Woman.”
Just in case you aren’t familiar with that concept, here’s some of the passage I am referring to:
10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
28Her children (and now her grand-children!) rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
An excellent wife, who can find?
I was nervous. In fact I was sweating so bad that I went outside to cool off. Laura’s dad came outside with me. I have always wondered if he thought I might be bolting at the last minute.
I didn’t bolt. And 31 years later I can say I would do it all over again!
What a wonderful life we have had together. And it just keeps getting better and better!
If you have been around us, you know that I often praise Laura and refer to her as “My Proverbs 31 Woman.”
Just in case you aren’t familiar with that concept, here’s some of the passage I am referring to:
10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
28Her children (and now her grand-children!) rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
An excellent wife, who can find?
I thank the Lord that I did.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Boldness Amid Opposition
Leadership is about change. In fact, the phrase “change-agent” is often used to describe the work of a leader. Change is usually met with resistance if not outright opposition because leaders challenge the status quo. They challenge what is, and provide us a vision of a desirable future that appeals to our head and our heart. Yet, no matter how appealing that vision may be, change always creates stress and discomfort. In fact, change may create severe resistance and active opposition.
In spite of this opposition, leaders must have the courage to boldly continue to lead.
Paul exemplified this courageous persistence throughout his ministry. He states that “we had the boldness [italics added] in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition [italics added]” (1 Thessalonians 2:2).
Leaders must be bold. But boldness is not bullying. Sometimes boldness is standing firm. And sometimes it is standing firm, quietly.
I came across a wonderful example of this kind of boldness while reading a collection of David Halberstam's sports writing, Everything They Had. He recounts the following conversation between Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey during their first meeting:
Robinson: "Mr. Rickey, what do you want? Do you want a player with guts enough to fight back?"
Rickey: "I want a player with guts enough not to fight back."
That's a different - and refreshing -take on boldness. Leaders with strong personalities have a tendency to to steam roll over opposition and treat resistance as something to be eliminated. They view resistance as a whack-a-mole game at Chuck E. Cheese.
A more constructive approach is to view resistance as feedback.
While it is rarely stated this explicitly, resistance is actually a call for greater communication.
Those who resist change are doing so out of one or more types of fear: Fear of loss – of job, status, or relationships or fear of the unknown. Leaders need to reframe this resistance as a form of feedback. Resistance is telling the leader that there are concerns, fears, and underlying issues that have not been fully addressed.
A perceptive leader will recognize this as an opportunity to build commitment by proactively seeking to understand and address these issues.
Do you have that kind of boldness?
Do you have "guts enough to not fight back" and reframe resistance as feedback?
In spite of this opposition, leaders must have the courage to boldly continue to lead.
Paul exemplified this courageous persistence throughout his ministry. He states that “we had the boldness [italics added] in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition [italics added]” (1 Thessalonians 2:2).
Leaders must be bold. But boldness is not bullying. Sometimes boldness is standing firm. And sometimes it is standing firm, quietly.
I came across a wonderful example of this kind of boldness while reading a collection of David Halberstam's sports writing, Everything They Had. He recounts the following conversation between Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey during their first meeting:
Robinson: "Mr. Rickey, what do you want? Do you want a player with guts enough to fight back?"
Rickey: "I want a player with guts enough not to fight back."
That's a different - and refreshing -take on boldness. Leaders with strong personalities have a tendency to to steam roll over opposition and treat resistance as something to be eliminated. They view resistance as a whack-a-mole game at Chuck E. Cheese.
A more constructive approach is to view resistance as feedback.
While it is rarely stated this explicitly, resistance is actually a call for greater communication.
Those who resist change are doing so out of one or more types of fear: Fear of loss – of job, status, or relationships or fear of the unknown. Leaders need to reframe this resistance as a form of feedback. Resistance is telling the leader that there are concerns, fears, and underlying issues that have not been fully addressed.
A perceptive leader will recognize this as an opportunity to build commitment by proactively seeking to understand and address these issues.
Do you have that kind of boldness?
Do you have "guts enough to not fight back" and reframe resistance as feedback?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Projection
I don't know about you, but when someone tells me to trust them, a warning sign goes off. When someone says, "Trust me on this," it automatically causes me to wonder about their trustworthiness.
You see, I am a high-trust person and my tendency is to trust people until they give me a reason not to. So when someone tells me to trust them, I am suspect. Why are you having to tell me to trust you?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
One explanation for this phenomena may be provided by the pyschological concept of projection. Projection is the tendency to project on to others the same traits we possess, yet deny. Projection occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else.
I have been working my way through a series of studies in the Older Testament. Recently, I came across this description of Jacob:
"Jacob was also hindered by his own bad character. He had been deceitful and treacherous to others, including his own twin brother (whose birth-right he had stolen), and he therefore expected others to treat him in the same manner. Men who are not trustworthy have a very difficult time trusting others - including God, the only One who is truly trustworthy." (MacArthur, The Father of Israel, p. 89).
Trust is a key component of any relationship and it is particularly important in the leader-follower relationship. Think about it: Do you want to follow a leader you don't trust?
So, when a leader begins to demand that we trust them, or to demand our loyalty, I begin to wonder about this idea of projection.
You see, I am a high-trust person and my tendency is to trust people until they give me a reason not to. So when someone tells me to trust them, I am suspect. Why are you having to tell me to trust you?
I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
One explanation for this phenomena may be provided by the pyschological concept of projection. Projection is the tendency to project on to others the same traits we possess, yet deny. Projection occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else.
I have been working my way through a series of studies in the Older Testament. Recently, I came across this description of Jacob:
"Jacob was also hindered by his own bad character. He had been deceitful and treacherous to others, including his own twin brother (whose birth-right he had stolen), and he therefore expected others to treat him in the same manner. Men who are not trustworthy have a very difficult time trusting others - including God, the only One who is truly trustworthy." (MacArthur, The Father of Israel, p. 89).
Trust is a key component of any relationship and it is particularly important in the leader-follower relationship. Think about it: Do you want to follow a leader you don't trust?
So, when a leader begins to demand that we trust them, or to demand our loyalty, I begin to wonder about this idea of projection.
- Are you demanding trust and loyalty because you are not trustworthy and loyal?
- Are you expecting me to breach trust and become disloyal because you yourself aren't trustworthy and loyal?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Some Call It Leadership
I don't.
When "leaders" scream and rant at followers...
When "leaders" demand respect, trust and loyalty, yet do not reciprocate...
When "leaders" lord their authority over the people in their organization rather serving them by creating an environment where people can flourish...
That is not leadership!
I understand that respect, trust and loyalty are important ingredients for effective leadership. But, those are gifts that followers give to leaders based on the leader's character.
When a leader is respectable, people will respect her.
When a leader is trustworthy, people will trust him.
When a leader is loyal, their followers will be loyal.
But demanding those responses without first living the character traits that warrant those responses isn't leadership. Demanding these responses without initiating the same attitude toward followers is not leadership. Demanding that these attitudes flow toward the leader is not leadership.
In fact, demanding any response is not leadership.
In his classic, Pulitzer-prize winning book Leadership, James MacGregor Burns makes a sharp distinction between power-wielding and leadership.
Power wielders use the resources of their power bases that are relevant to the attainment of their own purposes. In contrast, Burns defines leadership as a process that takes place in the context of a relationship between leaders and followers. Through this process, leaders induce followers to achieve goals that represent the values, motivations, wants, needs, aspirations and expectations of both leaders and followers. Thus, leadership is viewed as a mutually beneficial relationship. As such, leadership, unlike naked power wielding, is inseparable from followers’ needs and goals. According to Burns, “power wielders may treat people as things, but leaders may not. All leaders are actual or potential power holders, but not all power holders are leaders” (p.18).
I think its high time that we began to take seriously the difference between power-wielding and leadership.
Are you a self-serving power wielder?
Or are you a servant leader?
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Wheels Came Off
"... you've got a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track ..."
My middle daughter Jordan and I enjoy music and our interests overlap - although not completely. We both like Guy Clark and the Rolling Stones. But, I can't go with her on Britney Spears.
One of the things we like to do is pick lines from songs and email them to each other. Its kind of like the old TV show Name That Tune. You have to respond with the next line in the song. I ran that line from Neil Young's Alabama by her the other day. She didn't know the song.
The entire song doesn't fit, but that particular line has been on my mind for about two months. For about two months I have had a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track.
I had overloaded myself - again - with too many commitments and eliminated all the margin from my schedule. The signs were everywhere, but I kept ignoring them:
"And you may ask yourself: How did I get here?"
(Name that artist and the title of the song for bonus points!)
Well, I got here the same way I always do: one step at a time. Every commitment that I added was a step in a direction. Every additional commitment was a step along the path that leads to the overload of marginless living. And the consequence is emotional exhaustion.
I heard recently that we teach what we most need to learn. There will be several people in my life who read this who have heard me teach on this subject many times. Well, now you know why: I teach others what I most need to learn myself.
I was driving home one day this week talking to Laura on the phone as I did. I passed by a church whose billboard said: "Jesus said, 'No one comes to the Father except by me.'" I read it to Laura as I drove by.
She immediately adopted that as her new rule: "No one come to J.Lee except by me."
I am blessed to have a wife who loves me so much and tries so hard to protect me from myself. I would be even more blessed if I heeded the warning signs and listened to her more diligently.
The way out of this mess is remarkably similar to the way in. One step at a time, I must make decisions that lead me on a different path. I must honor the commitments I made for this season. But, fortunately this season will be ending soon.
Going forward, my goal is to gain greater focus on the areas where I can make the greatest contribution. This will require me to radically eliminate those commitments that are simply not the best use of my time, talent, and emotional energy.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Leader's Temptations - Part 2
In his book, In the Name of Jesus, Henri Nouwen uses the temptations faced by Jesus to identify three additional temptations that leaders face.
The first temptation is to be relevant. When Satan confronted Jesus, the first challenge he issued was to turn stones into bread. Leaders are proactive by nature and we always want to make a difference. We are fixers. And we have difficulty admitting that the problem being faced is beyond us or that we haven't seen a situation like this before. Ron Heifetz calls these adaptive challenges.
In these situations, we need to drop our guard and all pretense of of adequacy and offer just ourselves. To do this requires us to be vulnerable, open, and transparent. Only then can we move in along side the people facing the problem and do the adaptive work required to deal with the challenge.
The second temptation is to be spectacular. Satan told Jesus to throw Himself down and let the angels come and save Him. "But Jesus refused to be a stunt man. He did not come to prove Himself. He did not come to walk on hot coals, swallow fire, or put his hand in the lion's mouth in order to prove He had something to say." Its tempting for leaders to want to be the hero, the white knight, in a word - the savior. Our unchecked egos send us down that path. In these tempting moments, we need to remember that leading is not about us. It is not about our reputation. It is about serving others.
The third temptation is to be powerful. Satan's third throwdown was "All this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me." The temptation here is to be in control, to be in charge. Its a need for power on steroids.
I see a theme running through each of these temptations. Its the bent we all have toward ourselves. To counter each of these temptations, we need to remember: "Its not about me."
Our adequacy for leadership is not self-made. Our adequacy has been given to serve others, not to promote self. Yet, we are selfish and self-centered by nature, and we tend to think that our ability and our adequacy for leadership is self-made.
We need to remember the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 3: 4-6:
"Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
When we are tempted to be relevant, when we are tempted to be spectacular, when we are tempted to be powerful, we lose this perspective. When we lose this perspective, we are on the road to derailment as a leader.
The longer I serve in leadership positions, the more I realize the need to release. I need to release my reputation, release my need to be in charge, release my need to be praised for saving the day. Leadership is about developing others. Leaders prepare others to lead. We cannot do that when we are obsessed with our own reputations or to be in control.
Only when I release my self can I truly serve others.
The first temptation is to be relevant. When Satan confronted Jesus, the first challenge he issued was to turn stones into bread. Leaders are proactive by nature and we always want to make a difference. We are fixers. And we have difficulty admitting that the problem being faced is beyond us or that we haven't seen a situation like this before. Ron Heifetz calls these adaptive challenges.
In these situations, we need to drop our guard and all pretense of of adequacy and offer just ourselves. To do this requires us to be vulnerable, open, and transparent. Only then can we move in along side the people facing the problem and do the adaptive work required to deal with the challenge.
The second temptation is to be spectacular. Satan told Jesus to throw Himself down and let the angels come and save Him. "But Jesus refused to be a stunt man. He did not come to prove Himself. He did not come to walk on hot coals, swallow fire, or put his hand in the lion's mouth in order to prove He had something to say." Its tempting for leaders to want to be the hero, the white knight, in a word - the savior. Our unchecked egos send us down that path. In these tempting moments, we need to remember that leading is not about us. It is not about our reputation. It is about serving others.
The third temptation is to be powerful. Satan's third throwdown was "All this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me." The temptation here is to be in control, to be in charge. Its a need for power on steroids.
I see a theme running through each of these temptations. Its the bent we all have toward ourselves. To counter each of these temptations, we need to remember: "Its not about me."
Our adequacy for leadership is not self-made. Our adequacy has been given to serve others, not to promote self. Yet, we are selfish and self-centered by nature, and we tend to think that our ability and our adequacy for leadership is self-made.
We need to remember the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 3: 4-6:
"Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
When we are tempted to be relevant, when we are tempted to be spectacular, when we are tempted to be powerful, we lose this perspective. When we lose this perspective, we are on the road to derailment as a leader.
The longer I serve in leadership positions, the more I realize the need to release. I need to release my reputation, release my need to be in charge, release my need to be praised for saving the day. Leadership is about developing others. Leaders prepare others to lead. We cannot do that when we are obsessed with our own reputations or to be in control.
Only when I release my self can I truly serve others.
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