The Reflective Mindset

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

“Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me.”

I begin most of my leadership talks with that statement. Before I can lead others, I must thoroughly understand myself. I must examine and challenge myself to make sure that I am worthy of imitation.

The reflective mindset requires a leader to gain an understanding of their personal leadership philosophy and style - how they present themselves to others, their strengths and weaknesses, and their current leadership skills. This is achieved through a thorough, reflective, and often uncomfortable self examination.

A useful tool for developing the reflective mindset is the development of a Life-Map. The best way to begin the process is to do a placing exercise by creating a time line of your life, from birth to the present. Above the time line record the major social and political events of your life. For example, I was born in 1960, so my time line includes JFK, Rock-n-Roll, Civil Rights Movement, Walking on the Moon.

Below the line, record the key personal events and relationships of your life. Some things to consider are:

Educational experiences
Family situations
New job/career directions
Promotion/special projects
Interactions with a significant individual
Personal crises

Once the placing exercise is done, you now have the raw data for developing your Life-Map.

The Life Map exercise extends the placing exercise by asking you to reflect on how these events impacted your personality, values, worldview and leadership style.

It may be helpful to label or classify these events based on the meaning and significance each event held for you. Here are some suggested categories:

Milestone events are characterized as a means to an end. They are checkpoints in your life course.

Confirmational events affirm or disconfirm some particular attribution of your professional self, organizational or career reality.

Decisional events represent the decisions or choices you actively make. These events represent a conscious choice and require a high level of involvement and commitment. These decisions are based on a belief that they will result in a positive outcome that is congruent with the individual’s hopes and aspirations.

Transformational events shake the entire fabric of an individual’s life. Frequently they touch the very core of your being by challenging your life purpose and result in a transformation of many aspects of your life. These events provide the catalyst for profound change in direction, self-perception and worldview.

In addition, you should look for “crucible events.” Crucible events are defined as trials that rupture the status quo by coming upon us unexpectedly. They force us to answer fundamental questions about our identity, values, purpose, and priorities.

Taken together as a whole, these exercises should help you identify the meta-narrative of your life. These are the stories about the events that shaped your view of the world and that help you make sense of the otherwise apparent randomness of life (Andy Stanley, The Principle of the Path).

Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me. I need to look deep inside of myself to understand my worldview, my values, my style. Its not easy and sometimes its painful.

Allow yourself the discomfort of doing this important work.

The Six Mindsets of Leadership

One of my favorite movie scenes occurs in The Paper Chase. Professor Kingsfield (played excellently by John Houseman) is addressing his first-year students at Harvard Law School. He tells them:

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a lawyer.”

I would love to give a similar speech to my leadership students:

“You came here with a mindful of mush,

and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a LEADER!”

I just don’t think I could pull it off with a straight face.

Despite my lack of acting ability, I do think there are certain things that are necessary for the development of effective leaders. I call these the six mindsets of leadership.

In the next several posts, I will be explaining these. These are the core issues that I seek to develop in my students and my executive coaching clients.

Here’s the Big Idea:

Leading effectively in the context of an increasingly dynamic and diverse environment requires the development six leadership mindsets.


Do you have the mind of a leader?

Finishing Strong

During a conversation with a friend the other day we were joking with each other that we were in the “Second Half.” (Of course, he’s further into the second half than I am!)

As I thought about this, I began reflecting on some men that I know who are even further into the second half. In fact, they are well into the fourth quarter. But they are still in the game, fighting the good fight.

One of these men is Dean. Dean is in his eighties, still working full-time and more excited about his ministry now than he has ever been. Last year he sat in on a class I taught because (in his words), “I have so much to learn.”

I hope when I am in my eighties I still have the passion to serve and the desire to learn.

Another man I think of is Foy. He was in a small group leadership training program I was conducting a few years ago. One week we met in his home that he had lived in for 50+ years. During the refreshment time, I mentioned to him that I was always surprised to see people in his generation at a church that was intentionally focused on young people. I said, “I know the music must drive you crazy.” I had barely finished the sentence when Foy said, “But it’s not about me!”

I hope when I am Foy’s age I am still attending training sessions to equip me for a new ministry assignment.

I hope I will be able to say “It’s not about me” when the style of worship doesn’t line up with my personal preferences but is having a huge impact on others.

Dean and Foy are well into the Second Half. They have chosen to Finish Strong.

May their tribe increase!


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."

The View from the Summit - Part Six

The Land Between
Jeff Manion

The space in our lives that we most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit we most desperately need.

Leaders move people from Here to There. But what happens between Here and There?

The Israelites were moving from Egypt to the Promised Land, but there was a lot of time “between.” They were out of slavery, but not yet in the promised land.

The land between is fertile soil. It is fertile for:

A. Complaint. Complaining about condition vs complaining against God, which is the equivalent of cosmic treason.

B. Meltdown. “The burden is too heavy; I can’t carry it anymore.” All spiritual leaders experience this. In Numbers 11 we see the honest prayer of a great spiritual leader. Moses cries out to God:

"Why have You been so hard on Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that You should say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which You swore to their fathers'? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, 'Give us meat that we may eat! I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness."

C. God’s Provision. God provides leaders to team up with us. In Number 11:16, God hears Moses plea and provides him some help:

The LORD therefore said to Moses, "Gather for Me seventy men from the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and their officers and bring them to the tent of meeting, and let them take their stand there with you. Then I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you will not bear it all alone.”

D. God’s Discipline. Discipline is inflicting pain for a redemptive purpose. The Israelites had been complaining about manna and wanted some meat to eat. So God answered their prayer.

It’s actually humorous because He tells them that they will have meat, meat, and more meat. So much meat that they will become sick of it! He actually uses this to teach the Israelites a lesson.

“Therefore the LORD will give you meat and you shall eat. 'You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before Him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?"'"

E. Transformational Growth. The land between was intended to transform the people of Israel and get them ready for the Promised Land. They needed to learn to trust God, to pray, and to depend on Him.

Transformational growth doesn’t happen automatically. It is here that we learn about the sufficiency of God.

"The LORD said to Moses, "Is the LORD'S power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not." "

When we are in between Here and There, our heart is in danger. We have left the known and have not yet arrived in the promised land. In the land between, a choice has to be made: Growth or Death.

Complaint shows up without an invitation and resists eviction. We deter complaint by inviting trust in. Trust evicts complaint.

Are you in between? Are you in a place that is uncomfortable?

The space in my life that I most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit I most desperately need.

The View from the Summit - Part Five

You don't have to talk to me for very long before you realize that Andy Stanley is one of my favorite leadership authors. So, I was particularly excited to see that he was on the faculty of this year's Leadership Summit.

My thoughts about Andy were affirmed when Bill Hybels introduced him by saying that "Andy's success has not gone to his head or his heart."

The Upside of Tension

Myth: "Great leaders with mature organizations will resolve all the problems and eliminate tension."

Fact: "Some tensions are never resolved and some problems are never solved. The key is to leverage the dynamics in a way that creates progress. We need to manage pressure and tension in a way that results in progress."

I. Every organization has problems that shouldn't be solved and tensions that shouldn't be resolved.

A. What's more important? Examples: effectiveness or efficiency? responsiveness or profitability? academic rigor or relevance? Evangelism or Discipleship?

B. If you "resolve" any of those tensions, you will create a new tension.

C. If you resolve any of those tensions, you create a barrier to progress.

D. Progress depends not on the resolution of those tensions but on the successful management of those tensions.

II. To distinguish between problems to solve and tensions to manage, ask the following questions:

• Does the problem or tension keep resurfacing?
• Are there mature advocates on both sides?
• Are the two sides really interdependent?

Example of a tension in a Biblically Functioning Church: Is our primary role as a Church to create mature believers or is it to keep it attractive and safe for non-believers?

III. The role of leadership is to leverage the tension to the benefit of your organization.

A. Identify the tensions to be managed in your organization.

B. Create terminology for a 3rd category: "Tensions we have to manage."

C. Inform your core. Make sure the key players understand the fact that this is not ever going away!

D. Continually give value to both sides.

E. Don't weigh in too heavily based on your personal preferences. A leader's opinion/personality will accidentally take things off the table. As leaders we need to understand the upside of the opposite side and understand the downside of your side.

F. Don't allow strong personalities to win the day. I need passionate people who will champion their side and mature people who will recognize the reality of needing to live with tensions.

G. Don't think in terms of balance. Think in terms of rhythm. In the rhythm of an organization's life there will be times to lean heavily and times to lean away. Make the call under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

As a leader, one of the most valuable things you can do for your organization is differentiate between tensions your organization will always need to manage vs. problems that need to be solved.

The View from the Summit - Part Four

When Leaders Fall - Adam Hamilton

Leaders seem to be particularly susceptible to temptations that when acted on lead to personal derailment. I have previously posted comments about the road to derailment. Hamilton's talk was focused on derailment due to temptations in the area of improper relationships and sexual misconduct.

Why are leaders so susceptible?

• We are wired for reproduction.
• We have a deep desire for intimacy and companionship.
• We have a inherent sin drive that can lead to self-destruction.
• Leaders are attractive to others.
• When we are empty, we are vulnerable.

"The moment of the maybe" when we begin to play with an idea in our mind. While it may be natural to find others attractive, we should never communicate those thoughts.

"There is a short distance between communicating feelings and acting on them."

Five R's for Resisting Temptation:

1. Remember who you are: Lord I belong to you.
2. Recognize the consequences of your actions: How will you feel after?
3. Rededicate yourself to God: Stop, Drop, and Pray.
4. Reveal your struggle to a trusted friend.
5. Remove yourself from the situation.

In his book The Next Generation Leader, Andy Stanley poses two important questions for dealing with temptations:

• "What little thing in your life has the potential to become a big thing?"
• "Who other than you knows about it?"

We need to practice James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. "

As leaders we have a target on our back. Opponents would love to see us fall, and the Enemy would love to remove us from our places of influence.

Wise leaders will heed the warnings and proactively place firm boundaries into their lives.

The View from the Summit - Part Three

Tony Dungy was interviewed by Jimmy Mellado. These are the highlights of that interview.

Influences on his leadership philosophy. He was greatly influenced by his father who was a professor. His father described his job as "helping students get A's."

The next influence was Coach Chuck Noll who told him that his only job as a coach was to "help players play better."

Thus, "the job of any leader is to help those you lead get better."

As he discussed this, I was reminded of lessons I learned from my own father. When I first became a manager my dad told me that my job was to create an environment where people could perform. A few years later I began teaching part-time and my dad told me that my primary task as a teacher was to create an environment where students could learn.

Living with life balance. "We are going to win, but can't make football your life." He modeled balance for his staff and his team. The facility was open to families and he often had his children at practices and meetings.

• Be efficient; get work done.


• Don't mistake hours for productivity.


• Don't feel guilty about going home.

Mentoring. "We have to be available to mentor. A 30 second conversation with a mentor can change your life. Everybody should have a Paul and a Timothy in their life."

What does mentoring look like? "Learn about the mentee and develop the relationship. The informal part is so much more important than the formal part."

"The biggest thrill you get is watching people come in and develop."

What type of person do you look for? "The Lord puts people in your path. We need to be intentional about reaching out to young people in our community." Dungy feels a calling from the Lord to reach junior/senior high school kids.

Dungy's Mom and Dad were his first mentors. "All the people in his life led him to Jesus Christ. Jesus is the best mentor/leader I have ever been involved with."

"What would it profit to win the Super Bowl but not know Jesus?"