A Confrontation

As you know by now I love to read. As my lawyer friend Mark once told me, "I read for a living." I have this strange compulsion about reading: if I start a book I feel guilty if I don't finish it. I can only remember 2 books I haven't finished. The most recent one is Infinite Jest - not sure I will ever get that one done.

The other one was The Seasons of a Man's Life. I never finished it. But, I have never forgotten when I stopped reading it either. I stopped when I read this sentence:

"If we are to be men of integrity, we must constantly confront our lack of integrity."

I never finished the book. But I haven't forgotten that lesson. It hit me between the eyes and became a lesson that I have taught frequently over the years. A lesson that I taught others over the years.

I have been thinking about this statement a lot lately and I decided that I needed to confront something in my own life.

What does it mean to confront? I found this definition particularly helpful: "to bring together for comparison."

What I am bringing together for comparison is this: For several years I have had an espoused mission statement of Intentionally Investing in the Lives of Others. Yet, if I am honest with myself, I haven't been living that out with the intensity that it deserves.

When I allow myself the discomfort of engaging these thoughts, I hear Coach Carter's voice telling me: "I can't hear what your saying because I am so distracted by what your doing."

(Have I ever told you that I think God's audible voice probably sounds like Coach Carter's? That thought does nothing to ease my discomfort.)

Given this gap between my espoused mission and my slacking effort to enact that mission, I am going to do something to reduce the gap in 2014. I am confronting my own hypocrisy and seeking to close the gap by launching The First Tuesday Project.

I cannot say that The First Tuesday Project is not about me. It is about me; but, its not just about me or only about me. With the help and encouragement of my friend Marc, we are launching The First Tuesday Project and inviting other men to join us in a process of discovering and living a life of intentional impact based on a new definition of leadership.

I am looking forward to what we will learn as we walk through this process together. And, I am confronting my own hypocrisy.

How's that for a New Year's Resolution?

 

Lessons from Lance

I watched with great interest the two part interview that Lance Armstrong did with Oprah this week.


I watched it through the lens of leadership and leadership derailment, even though as an athlete some have made into a hero, he isn’t technically a leader.

But he is a great athlete –even without enhancing his performance with banned drugs.

As I watched I was reminded of Tiger Woods, General Petraeus, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon and Joe Paterno. Is that the company you want to keep? But this is what I thought: Such talent, such achievement and accomplishment. But now it’s tarnished.

I was reminded – again - of Andy Stanley’s statement that

“Your talent and giftedness have the potential to take you further than your character can sustain you … and that ought to scare you!”

Lance Armstrong admitted his wrong. And he also admitted he was wrong in the aggressive bullying of those who called him out. He called them names, arrogantly defying them, and suing more people than he could remember in an effort to protect his name and cover up his deceit.

That part of Lance’s story reminded me of others who lash out at critiques, and accuse them of drinking “hater-aide.” When long-time inner circle associates try to discuss blindspots and reverse the derailment process unfolding right before them, they are immediately dismissed and threatened with law suits if they dare tell the truth of what is going on behind the scenes.

This weekend churches will be inundated with sermons using the Lance Armstrong story. Here’s what I would say if I were preaching this sermon:

What would Jesus say to us?

First, I think he would say “Let the one among you who has not sinned throw the first stone.” Let the one among you who never cheated on a test, copied someone else’s homework, fudged an expense report, or was less than fully honest when completing a tax return throw the first stone. Let the one among you who has never lied – even a little bit to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to avoid going out with a couple you don’t really care for because you already had other plans. Don’t pull the magnitude card on me. I don’t see a sliding scale in the commands on honesty.

The second thing I think Jesus would say to us when we want to critically examine Lance Armstrong is: “get the log out of your own eye before you judge Lance.”

Now, let’s shift gears and ask: What would Jesus say to Lance?

In the interview with Oprah, Lance repeatedly referred to “the process” of healing he is going through. He talked about his need to get past being the arrogant bully who would win at all cost. I think Jesus would say to Lance, “Let me help you. You can’t do this in your own strength. I am the way, the truth, and the life. Follow Me.” Jesus would invite to Lance into a personal relationship that did not require cleaning up his act first. Jesus would extend the same unmerited favor – we call it grace - to Lance that He extended to me and makes available to all who ask. If Lance accepts that invitation He will immediately receive a divine counselor in the form of the Holy Spirit to help him work through the process.

In the interview Lance also discussed the advice his ex-wife has given him that "the truth will make you free." Let’s put that in its proper context (John 8: 31-32)


“ So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”


But, the real question is not what would Jesus say to Lance Armstrong? The real question is what would Jesus say to you?

Do you see yourself in Lance Armstrong’s story? Are you a Type-A high achiever that is driven to win at all costs? Are you an arrogant bully who tramples on anyone who stands in your way? Are you feedback resistant? Are you so caught up in yourself that you have become “comfortably numb” to your corner-cutting and abuse of others?

If so, Jesus is asking what does it profit you to gain the world – win the Tour de France, dominate the market, set the record for sales – if you lose your soul?

Jesus is saying Follow Me.

That Ought to Scare You

One of the most disappointing new events of 2009 has to be the Tiger Woods fiasco. For the last several weeks every day brought a new revelation. Millions of fans have been disappointed.

To me its a great example of a quote from one of my favorite leadership authors, Andy Stanley:

“Character is not essential to leadership. But character is what makes you a leader worth following. Your talent and giftedness as a leader have the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you… That ought to scare you.”

Andy Stanley, The Next Generation Leader

Another one of my favorite leadership authors also had something to say about this:

"Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall." (Paul, 1 Corinthians 10:11-13)

We set goals for the things we want to accomplish, yet we rarely set goals when it comes to developing our character. I think we should be as intentional about developing our character as we are about achieving material goals.

We also need to cultivate relationships with people who will challenge us and hold us accountable for those goals. We need a personal board of advisers that will challenge us - not enable us. We should invite their scrutiny and thank them for loving us enough to not let us destroy ourselves and the lives of those we love.

Remember:

"Your talent and giftedness as a leader have the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you. That ought to scare you.”

Step to the Line

The room was crowded. One side was packed with business executives and MBA students – all suited up. The other side was packed with men – all suited up - in their prison-issued jump suits.
Catherine stood at the front of the room and asked us to stand up and stack the chairs against the wall. When this task was completed, we noticed a blue line running down the middle of the floor.

The rules were: “If the characteristic is true of you, step to the line.”

The first few were easy: If you like ice cream, step to the line. It was crowded at the line as people from both sides stepped up.

When asked if you liked chocolate ice cream, a few stepped back, but the majority remained.

The statements became increasingly more personal, more dramatic.

If you grew up in a broken home … step to the line.

If you were emotionally abused … step to the line.

If you were physically abused … step to the line.

If you have ever abused drugs or alcohol … step to the line.


As we went through this exercise, we came to the dramatic realization that there really wasn't much difference in the people on the other side of the room. We were dressed differently, but when you get beyond those superficial externalities, we had a lot in common.

I also realized that but for the grace of God, I could easily have been on the other side of that line.

This is a scene from a visit to the Cleveland Unit of the Texas prison system that houses the Prison Entrepreneurship Program – PEP.

There’s not much that separates us from those men on the other side of the line. There’s not much that separates the men in that program, in that prison, from those of us on the outside.

This week I spent some time with men who have graduated from the PEP program and have been released from prison. They are starting a new life as productive members of society. Some have started their own business, some have started new jobs. Some still need a job.

There’s not much that separates us. As I spent time with them this week, I noticed one key - and refreshing - distinction: they aren’t putting up any fronts. They aren't masquerading as something they are not. They are honest about their mistakes and shortcomings, and as one of them told me: “I am committed to my change.”

Are you willing to admit your weaknesses? Step to the line.

Are you willing to own your mistakes? Step to the line.

Are you willing to admit your piece of the messes in your life? Step to the line.

Are you willing to drop your guard and be real? Step to the line.

Are you committed to your change?

Step to the line.

Called or Driven? Part 2

This summer I am teaching a new course (for me) called Spirituality and Leadership. One of the books I have assigned for the class is the Gordon MacDonald classic, Ordering Your Private World.

In this book he discusses an important distinction between people that are driven and those who are called. According to MacDonald, “driven people often project a bravado of confidence as they forge ahead with their achievement-oriented life plan. But often, at moments when it is least expected, adversities and obstructions conspire, and there can be a personal collapse. Called people, on the other hand, possess strength from within, a quality of perseverance and power that are impervious to the blows from without.”

MacDonald identifies many symptoms of driven people:

> A driven person is most often gratified only by accomplishment.
> A driven person is preoccupied with the symbols of accomplishment.
> A driven person is usually caught in the uncontrolled pursuit of expansion.
> Driven people tend to have a limited regard for integrity.
> Driven people are not likely to bother themselves with the honing of people skills.
> Driven people tend to be highly competitive.
> A driven person often possesses a volcanic force of anger.
> Driven people are usually abnormally busy, are averse to play, and usually avoid spiritual worship.

Called people are qualitatively different.

> Called people understand stewardship. Careers, assets, natural and spiritual gifts, and health are merely managed in the name of the One who gave them. Driven people consider them owned.

> Called people know exactly who they are … and who they aren’t.

> Called people possess an unwavering sense of purpose.

> Called people practice an unswerving sense of commitment.


Are you called or are you driven?

Called or Driven? Part 1

I find that there are some books that I return to time and time again. Gordon MacDonald's Ordering Your Private World is one of those. In fact, there are several of his books that I draw from frequently.

I usually don't post entries from my journal here, but I feel led to do so this time. These thoughts are based on my journal entry on Friday April 3.

Since I assigned this book as required reading for my class this summer, I decided I would re-read it so that the material would be fresh (you know - so the stream would be running).

When I came to the chapters on called versus driven I had to take a deep breath. I have fought the driven thing for a while, but as I read the characteristics again I could see that perhaps I have been more driven than I realize. And of course I have gone far too long - and still have periods - where I do not cultivate the inner person with near enough intentionality and diligence.

"Be diligent" Paul says to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:15. I looked diligent up in the dictionary: "constant and earnest in effort and application."

It's so easy to be diligent on external matters - things that others can see and approve - but its difficult to be diligent on the hidden things - and yet it is the hidden things of the heart that will ultimately sustain us - or not.

Soil preparation, foundations, and structural strength are all necessary to build beautiful buildings. We marvel at what we see, yet think little, if at all, about the preparation and the strength of what is not seen.

As I write this down I am reminded of a walk with Justin around the neighborhood when he was very young. We came to a telephone pole on the street and he noticed how tall it was. And then he asked me, "How deep do they have to dig the hole in order for that tall telephone pole to be sturdy?"

It was a profound question: How deep does the foundation have to be in order to support the structure?

As I was reading Ordering Your Private World last night, I was reminded of Andy Stanley's quote that your giftedness and talents (external stuff) have the potential to take us further than our character (inner person of the heart) can sustain us. He adds: "And that ought to scare you!" If the pole doesn't have its "roots" planted deeply in the ground it will not be able to stand tall.

So Lord, don't let me take the inner person - the soul condition - for granted. Help me to be diligent in cultivating the inner person of the heart.

Atticus and Leland

I love to read, and I average about a book a week. Of course, being on sabbatical gives me even more time to read and I am busting the average this month with 8 completed so far. And this year, I am keeping a list of the books I read. I have promised to do this for several years, but I am actually doing it this year.

I rarely read a book more than once. There are some notable exceptions, however. The following is a list of books that I have read multiple times:

Disappointment with God, Philip Yancey
The Best and the Brightest, David Halberstam
Visioneering, Andy Stanley

And most recently, To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee.

What a great story…and a great movie starring Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch. Atticus is a man of tremendous character who swims against the tide of small-town, southern attitudes in the depression era (and beyond). He is full of wisdom and is highly respected by everyone in town, even when he has to oppose them.

There’s a great piece of advice for all of us page 59 when Atticus tells his daughter Scout to "delete the adjectives and she would have the facts."

One of the plots of the book revolves around Tom Robinson. Tom is a young black man who has been falsely accused of attacking and raping a white woman. The entire town wanted to skip the judicial process and simply lynch Tom, but Atticus stood them down on the courthouse steps late one night when they came to get Tom out of jail. In spite of Atticus' excellent defense, Tom had no chance with the all-white jury and they convicted him.

Every time I watch the movie or read the book, I get emotional during the scene at the end of Tom Robinson’s trial when Atticus is leaving the courtroom. His children have observed the trial from the balcony with the Negroes who were there to support Tom. I will let Scout pick up the narrative here:

“Atticus took his coat off the back of his chair and pulled it over his shoulder. Then he left the courtroom, but not by his usual exit. He must have wanted to go home the short way, because he walked quickly down the middle aisle toward the south exit. I followed the top of his head as he made his way to the door. He did not look up.

Someone was punching me, but I was reluctant to take my eyes from the people below us, and from the image of Atticus’ lonely walk down the aisle.

‘Miss Jean Louise?’

I looked around. They were standing. All around us and in the balcony on the opposite wall, the Negroes were getting on their feet. Reverend Sykes’s voice was as distant as Judge Taylor’s:

‘Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passin.’”

Another thing happens when I read or watch To Kill a Mockingbird. I can’t help but see similarities between Atticus and my own father, Leland. Like Atticus, Leland took unpopular stands on behalf of the Negroes he worked with and who worked for him in West Texas. He told me of a time in Haskell when one of the white men in town was going to beat up the black man who worked for my dad at his service station. The man thought that the Negro had not shown him proper respect. He accused the Negro of saying “huh?” when he had asked a question. The white guy was going to “kick that N..’s ass.” My Dad told him he would have to kick his first. The man couldn’t believe my dad was defending a Negro, but the incident passed with everyone’s backside intact.

Several years later in Odessa, my dad had 5 full-service gas stations (Some of you have no idea what those are). He decided to put a black man named Wendell in charge of the one in wealthiest part of town. Everyone told my dad that he couldn’t do that and that it wouldn’t work. His response was something like “hide and watch.” And it did work. The people in the area loved and respected Wendell, as my dad did.

As a child, I used to spend a week or so with my grandparents in Breckenridge each summer. My dad’s mother used to take me to “town” with her. I was always embarrassed when she introduced me to the people in the stores. She would pat me on the shoulder as she said,

“Now, this is Leland’s boy.”

That doesn’t embarrass me anymore.