Step to the Line

The room was crowded. One side was packed with business executives and MBA students – all suited up. The other side was packed with men – all suited up - in their prison-issued jump suits.
Catherine stood at the front of the room and asked us to stand up and stack the chairs against the wall. When this task was completed, we noticed a blue line running down the middle of the floor.

The rules were: “If the characteristic is true of you, step to the line.”

The first few were easy: If you like ice cream, step to the line. It was crowded at the line as people from both sides stepped up.

When asked if you liked chocolate ice cream, a few stepped back, but the majority remained.

The statements became increasingly more personal, more dramatic.

If you grew up in a broken home … step to the line.

If you were emotionally abused … step to the line.

If you were physically abused … step to the line.

If you have ever abused drugs or alcohol … step to the line.


As we went through this exercise, we came to the dramatic realization that there really wasn't much difference in the people on the other side of the room. We were dressed differently, but when you get beyond those superficial externalities, we had a lot in common.

I also realized that but for the grace of God, I could easily have been on the other side of that line.

This is a scene from a visit to the Cleveland Unit of the Texas prison system that houses the Prison Entrepreneurship Program – PEP.

There’s not much that separates us from those men on the other side of the line. There’s not much that separates the men in that program, in that prison, from those of us on the outside.

This week I spent some time with men who have graduated from the PEP program and have been released from prison. They are starting a new life as productive members of society. Some have started their own business, some have started new jobs. Some still need a job.

There’s not much that separates us. As I spent time with them this week, I noticed one key - and refreshing - distinction: they aren’t putting up any fronts. They aren't masquerading as something they are not. They are honest about their mistakes and shortcomings, and as one of them told me: “I am committed to my change.”

Are you willing to admit your weaknesses? Step to the line.

Are you willing to own your mistakes? Step to the line.

Are you willing to admit your piece of the messes in your life? Step to the line.

Are you willing to drop your guard and be real? Step to the line.

Are you committed to your change?

Step to the line.

Really Real - Discernment Part 2

Is there a downside to discernment?

In a previous discussion of discernment, I defined discernment as the God-given ability to see what’s really real.


We need discernment because as leaders, we must be willing to be radicals who can see beyond the presenting symptoms and get to the root problem. That’s the original meaning of radical and why I have always embraced that as a worthy label.

But as I think about – and in fact experience God-given discernment – I have discovered there’s a potential downside to discernment that we must guard against. Sometimes, when God pulls back the curtain and allows us to see what’s “really real,” we are tempted to become cynical.

Oh, but we’re really sly about our cynicism. We tell ourselves (and others) that we’re not being cynical, we’re just being realistic! If we’re not careful, this becomes part of a bigger pattern that can derail our credibility and effectiveness as leaders.

In their book, Leadership on the Line, Heifetz and Linsky discuss this as a result of leaders buying into the myth of needing to develop a thick skin.



Certainly we need to be resilient, but if we’re not careful developing a thick skin can “squeeze the juice out of our soul. We lose our capacity for innocence, curiosity, and compassion. In a sense, our hearts close -- our innocence turns into cynicism, our curiosity turns into arrogance, and our compassion turns into callousness. We dress these up, of course, because we don't want to see ourselves -- and certainly don't want others to see us -- as cynical, arrogant and callous. We dress cynicism up as realism. So now we are not cynical; we're realistic. We are not arrogant, but we do have authoritative knowledge. And we dress up and cloak our callousness by calling it the thick skin of wisdom.”

In order to counter this all too human tendency, I always combine my prayer for discernment with a prayer for wisdom. I need God-given discernment to see what’s really real; but I also need God-given wisdom to know how to deal with what He has shown me.



And this requires humility to submit myself to Him and to not strive to use my limited perspective and limited understanding to solve the issues that I am confronted with.

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

The Leader's Temptations - Part 1

Those of us who are committed to living what I call an intensely intentional life are subject to some unique temptations. We experience the euphoria of achievement and the agony of defeat (does the Wide World of Sports Image of the skier's crash come to mind when you read that phrase?).

The temptation in those moments is to think that they are permanent conditions rather than just moments.

Recently I read some wise words on this from J.I. Packer. In his book, A Passion for Faithfulness, he discusses "two impostors" that often plague those of us who are intent on living the intensely intentional life. These impostors share a common characteristic in that they each present themselves as definitive and final.

The first impostor is Triumph. When we experience a significant success - a triumph - we feel that after this nothing else will matter. The second impostor is Disaster. In the moment of a disaster, we feel that this is the end of everything.

Neither of these feelings is real. The moment of triumph will pass and all too soon give way to new challenges, new stressses, and new frustrations. And the disaster is never as devastating as we perceive it to be. In fact, the seeds of growth and renewal often begin to take root in the soil of what we feel is a disaster.

As my friend, and long-time CEO, Zem told me: "The crisis that you think will end it all on Monday will be over by Thursday."

Those of us in leadership bear the responsibility, indeed the burden, of caring for others. And because of this we are likely to feel the ups and downs of leading and living more acutely. We are tempted when we experience a great success to stop striving and simply kick back and coast for a while. After all, we deserve to bask in the glory of our hard-fought success.

When we encounter a set-back, we are often tempted to throw in the towel. (A similar phenomenon occurs for professors when we receive rejection letters from journals: You quit the profession for at least two days!).

Yet, we must realize that despite our feelings and the resulting temptations, neither the euphoria of victory or the dejection of defeats and set-backs are permanent conditions. The crisis - or the victory - you experience on Monday will be over by Thursday.

When tempted to coast or when tempted to quit, perhaps we should remember Paul's admonition in Phillipians 3: 13-14:

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Really Real - Discernment Part 1

I often ask God to give me discernment so that I can have an accurate assessment of reality. Discernment involves seeing what my philosophy professors called that which is "really real."


Only philosophers would think to distinguish between that which is "real" and that which is "really real"!


As leaders we need to see between the lines and get beneath superficial presentations to understand what's really going on.


J.I. Packer provides an excellent discussion of discernment in his book on Nehemiah, A Passion for Faithfulness.


According to Packer, "discernment may be defined as the ability to see what you are looking at and to assess it by appropriate criteria. Spiritual discernment is a matter of perceiving the qualities, tendencies, and likely sources of proposals and policies that relate to God and His kingdom. Though such discernment may have a basis in natural shrewdness, it comes to fruition only through a sustained attunement to God and a habit of asking oneself at every point in life what makes for His glory. ... Spiritual discernment is a prime need, which nature alone will not supply, and which therefore must be sought from God through godliness as a way and style of life."

Discernment is important for leaders because so often the presenting problem is really just a symptom of something deeper. We need discernment to help us get to the root problem. Think about this in the context of your yard: If you just mow or weed-eat the weeds they will be back next week. What is really needed is to get the weeds out by the roots. Only then can we hope to keep them from recurring.

As leaders I think we need to cultivate the habit of asking the Lord to help us see what's really real so that we can get to the root of the issues we are dealing with. This is difficult for most of us because we have a bias for action, and too often we act before we fully understand. Or, we act based on our understanding.

Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

Lord, help me to see with your eyes. Help me to see beneath the surface so that I can get to the root of the problem. Give me your understanding. Don't let me go off half-cocked with my own understanding. Give me discernment.