“Shouldn't have took more than you gave;
Then we wouldn't be in this mess today”
In his recent book, Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, Wharton professor Adam Grant explores the
implications of our reciprocity style on success at work and relationships in
general.
Every time we interact with another person at work, we have a
choice to make: do we try to claim as much value as we can, or contribute value
without worrying about what we receive in return?
People differ dramatically in their preferences for reciprocity –
their desired mix of taking and giving.
Takers like to get more than they give. They
tilt reciprocity in their own favor, putting their own interests ahead of
others’ need. If you’re a taker you help others strategically, when the
benefits to you outweigh the personal costs.
Givers are relatively rare. They tilt
reciprocity in the other direction, preferring to give more than they get.
Whereas takers tend to be self-focused, evaluating what other people can offer
them, givers are other-focused, paying more attention to what others need from
them. If you’re a giver you help whenever the benefits to others exceed the
personal costs.
Matchers strive to preserve an equal balance of
giving and getting. Matchers operate on the principle of fairness: when they help
others, they protect themselves by seeking reciprocity. If you’re a matcher,
you believe in tit for tat, and your relationships are governed be even
exchanges of favors.
The vast majority of people develop a primary reciprocity style which captures how they approach most of
the people most of the time. You can assess your reciprocity style by
completing the self-assessment available on this site:
