The Wheels Came Off

"... you've got a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track ..."

My middle daughter Jordan and I enjoy music and our interests overlap - although not completely. We both like Guy Clark and the Rolling Stones. But, I can't go with her on Britney Spears.

One of the things we like to do is pick lines from songs and email them to each other. Its kind of like the old TV show Name That Tune. You have to respond with the next line in the song. I ran that line from Neil Young's Alabama by her the other day. She didn't know the song.

The entire song doesn't fit, but that particular line has been on my mind for about two months. For about two months I have had a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track.

I had overloaded myself - again - with too many commitments and eliminated all the margin from my schedule. The signs were everywhere, but I kept ignoring them:

Every horizontal surface in my life has piles of stuff on it: the dryer in the utility room, my nightstand, the window shelf in the kitchen, the bookcase in the den, the tables in the game room.

My car hasn't been washed in a month. Stuff is piled in the back seat and in the trunk.

My reading list which usually has 6-8 books per month will have only 3 this month (unless I can't sleep tonight).

I have not posted a blog entry since October 8.

My workout routine is no longer routine.

"And you may ask yourself: How did I get here?"

(Name that artist and the title of the song for bonus points!)

Well, I got here the same way I always do: one step at a time. Every commitment that I added was a step in a direction. Every additional commitment was a step along the path that leads to the overload of marginless living. And the consequence is emotional exhaustion.

I heard recently that we teach what we most need to learn. There will be several people in my life who read this who have heard me teach on this subject many times. Well, now you know why: I teach others what I most need to learn myself.

I was driving home one day this week talking to Laura on the phone as I did. I passed by a church whose billboard said: "Jesus said, 'No one comes to the Father except by me.'" I read it to Laura as I drove by.

She immediately adopted that as her new rule: "No one come to J.Lee except by me."

I am blessed to have a wife who loves me so much and tries so hard to protect me from myself. I would be even more blessed if I heeded the warning signs and listened to her more diligently.

The way out of this mess is remarkably similar to the way in. One step at a time, I must make decisions that lead me on a different path. I must honor the commitments I made for this season. But, fortunately this season will be ending soon.

Going forward, my goal is to gain greater focus on the areas where I can make the greatest contribution. This will require me to radically eliminate those commitments that are simply not the best use of my time, talent, and emotional energy.

The Leader's Temptations - Part 2

In his book, In the Name of Jesus, Henri Nouwen uses the temptations faced by Jesus to identify three additional temptations that leaders face.

The first temptation is to be relevant. When Satan confronted Jesus, the first challenge he issued was to turn stones into bread. Leaders are proactive by nature and we always want to make a difference. We are fixers. And we have difficulty admitting that the problem being faced is beyond us or that we haven't seen a situation like this before. Ron Heifetz calls these adaptive challenges.

In these situations, we need to drop our guard and all pretense of of adequacy and offer just ourselves. To do this requires us to be vulnerable, open, and transparent. Only then can we move in along side the people facing the problem and do the adaptive work required to deal with the challenge.

The second temptation is to be spectacular. Satan told Jesus to throw Himself down and let the angels come and save Him. "But Jesus refused to be a stunt man. He did not come to prove Himself. He did not come to walk on hot coals, swallow fire, or put his hand in the lion's mouth in order to prove He had something to say." Its tempting for leaders to want to be the hero, the white knight, in a word - the savior. Our unchecked egos send us down that path. In these tempting moments, we need to remember that leading is not about us. It is not about our reputation. It is about serving others.

The third temptation is to be powerful. Satan's third throwdown was "All this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me." The temptation here is to be in control, to be in charge. Its a need for power on steroids.

I see a theme running through each of these temptations. Its the bent we all have toward ourselves. To counter each of these temptations, we need to remember: "Its not about me."

Our adequacy for leadership is not self-made. Our adequacy has been given to serve others, not to promote self. Yet, we are selfish and self-centered by nature, and we tend to think that our ability and our adequacy for leadership is self-made.

We need to remember the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 3: 4-6:

"Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."

When we are tempted to be relevant, when we are tempted to be spectacular, when we are tempted to be powerful, we lose this perspective. When we lose this perspective, we are on the road to derailment as a leader.

The longer I serve in leadership positions, the more I realize the need to release. I need to release my reputation, release my need to be in charge, release my need to be praised for saving the day. Leadership is about developing others. Leaders prepare others to lead. We cannot do that when we are obsessed with our own reputations or to be in control.

Only when I release my self can I truly serve others.