The catalyst for the meltdown was an overwhelming feeling of technological incompetence. You see, I was preparing to teach on-line for the first time in my life and although I have all of the content for the course, I am really challenged around the technology and all of the details associated with the course design.
I felt alone, incompetent, and absolutely incapable of taking the very next step on the project. In fact, I had no clue what the very next step might be.
And I had a meltdown. Ready to quit, throw in the towel, and pretty sure that I was probably not qualified to ever teach again, on-line or otherwise.
In the midst of it all I reached out for help. My colleagues that had been through this same territory were patient with me. They encouraged me, they showed me what to do, and they patiently answered the same questions over and over again.
Its all really funny now. The course development is complete, and I think its going to be a great course.
Looking back, I am reminded of the advice my friend Zem once gave me:
"The crisis that you think will end it all on Monday
will be over by Thursday."
Well, the crisis lasted a little more than 4 days; but it is over now!
The sun continued to rise, I walked through the discomfort, I was not alone, and I will be a better teacher because of the process.
I often tell my students to "allow yourself the discomfort." Through this experience, I was reminded of how difficult it is to follow that advice.
I was also reminded of how valuable that advice is.
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