Selective Exposure

Early in my teaching career I had the opportunity to teach a course called Human Behavior in Organizations. The title is somewhat misleading because we actually used a Social Psychology textbook. The link between the text and organizational behavior was an easy one, but that link had to be supplied in the lectures and application exercises I integrated into the course.


I enjoyed teaching the course and there are several concepts and models that are so relevant and practical in everyday life. So, this is the first of several posts I will be making on the practical application of concepts from social psychology.

Here's a very interesting concept. It describes something we all do - and probably didn't know it had a name. Here's how it works: I am facing a decision and I am leaning one way as opposed to another? But I know I need to "seek wise counsel," so I decide to ask for some advice. But here's what I do: I choose to ask someone I think will support the direction I'm leaning. And I avoid asking the person who might not support that direction.

Actually this behavior begins very early in life. Our children - and now I have discovered my grandchildren - learn who to ask depending on the issue or desire. "Ask Dad, he always says yes. Don't ask Mom, she never let's us do that."

This is called selective exposure. This is the tendency to seek out information that supports our idea or position and to discount or avoid information that contradicts or opposes our ideas.

We do this a lot with reading books. We tend to read stuff that reinforces our position. And we don't read stuff that might criticize our positions - or expand our perspective. We avoid information that might cause us to see another point of view or another dimension to a complex issue. It reminds me of a statement I heard once - "Don't confuse me with the facts. I have made up my mind."

Recently I observed a very interesting case of selective exposure. There was a discussion concerning the need for leaders to make tough calls on personnel and provide some employees - even long-term employees - the opportunity to "thrive elsewhere."

Interestingly, support for this decision-making process was selected from Jim Collins' idea of getting the right people on the bus and getting the wrong people off the bus. This comes from his book Good to Great. I agree with this principle, and have had to make those tough decisions on numerous occasions.

But there is another principle in that book that was not selected as part of this recent discussion. Collins also discusses what he calls the Level 5 Leader. These leaders are characterized by a "paradoxical blend of professional will and personal humility." They practice what Collins calls "The Window and the Mirror."

According to this principle, when things are going well, the leader looks out the window to see who they can give the credit to. When things aren't going well, the Level 5 Leader looks in the mirror to examine himself and ask: "what do I need to change about my self in order to fix this? What could I have done differently to prevent this? What do I need to differently in the future to keep this from happening again?"

I am sure that you have worked for people who practiced the window and the mirror in the exact opposite way: They take the credit for success (mirror) and seek to blame others for failures (window). The Bohicans were very good at this.

Which brings me back to selective exposure: The recent leadership discussion focused on the "get the right people on the bus" principle. That principle supported the ideas being advanced. But that principle also needs to be balanced with the "window and the mirror." As leaders we need to first examine ourselves by spending some intense time "looking in the mirror" and asking ourselves some tough questions.

Gandhi said "I need to be the change that I want to see in the world." I think that's a good point of beginning for leaders. We need to examine ourselves and make the necessary changes in our own behaviors and attitudes first.

When we have done that, then we can deal with who should or shouldn't be on the bus.

Losing My Religion

“That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough”


Those of us who are high achievers like to achieve. For us its an end in itself. And because we like to achieve, we don’t like to fail. In fact, if we make less than an A, we’re pretty sure the sun will not come up the next day.

But I seem to be failing – continuously. I keep failing the Litmus Test that so many of my Republican Christian friends have been administering. I just can’t seem to manufacture the venom and hatred that seems to be the defining characteristic of this sub-culture. I have a pretty clear picture of what they’re against. The question remains open as to what they are for.

This usually manifests itself during the presidential elections. However, it seems to have escaped the boundaries of the election campaign. I am very concerned about the attitudes and the statements of so many of my Republican, Christian, friends.

Please take careful note the order of my adjectives …Republican comes before Christian and thus it modifies the adjective that comes after it. And that is the problem!

Too many Christians are filtering their beliefs through their political grid. It should be exactly the opposite. Our politics – indeed every aspect of our entire life - should be filtered through the grid of scripture.

Too many Christians are making the gospel message they are to be proclaiming through their life very unattractive with the constant stream of venom that spews from their mouths.

Tell me: How does that line up with Ephesians 4:29? Check it out (emphasis added):

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Every election year, I see tremendous energy and passion spent in criticizing the candidates and policies they oppose. I always hope to see just half that much energy and passion spent living out the Gospel, obeying the call to spread the gospel as we are going (Read again the Great Commission as a call to all believers. Matthew 28:19-20) or using their spiritual gifts serving one another in the church as we are all called to do.

Jesus said that “They will know you by your love.”

Wow. I wonder what those outside the church know us by?

In his excellent book, The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey makes this observation:

“Jesus did not say, ‘All men will know you are my disciples … if you just pass laws, suppress immorality, and restore decency to family and government’, but rather, ‘if you love one another.’

The issues that confront Christians in secular society must be faced and addressed and legislated, and a democracy gives Christians every right to express themselves. But we dare not invest so much in the kingdom of this world that we neglect our main task of introducing people to a different kind of kingdom, one based solely on God’s grace and forgiveness… If a century from now all that historians can say about evangelicals of the 1990s (and 2000s) is that they stood for family values, then we will have failed the mission Jesus gave us to accomplish: to communicate God’s reconciling love to sinners. (emphasis added)”


I am not worried about what historians will say, what will the Lord say when we stand before Him?

I keep wondering what difference we could make if we would truly follow Jesus and do as He did when he encountered people whose value systems and lifestyles he didn’t approve of.

Look again at John 4. He treated the woman at the well with dignity and respect…and introduced her to the Living Water that changed her from the inside out.

I keep wondering what would happen if we, the Church, would reclaim the territory that we abandoned and begin to take care of the poor, the widowed, and the orphans rather than abdicating that responsibility to the government.

If we are really concerned about the moral decay of our society, we should spend our energy sharing with others the only source of authentic and lasting life change: Jesus Christ. When we come to Him, He begins a transformation process that moves from the inside out.

And I am confident of this very thing: He who begins this good work will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

I am continually reminded of the practical atheism in our lives (mine included). We claim to know the Lord, yet we live, talk, and make decisions as if we didn’t. We proclaim the sovereignty of God, yet complain when election outcomes and legislative agendas don’t align with our wishes.

Rather than wringing our hands about the outcome of elections or the latest legislative action, I think its time to get to work on the task we are called to do.

Rather than spending our energy on temporal issues, let’s focus on the eternal impact we can have by sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. He came to reconcile sinners to God…and He has given us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20).

Let’s get on with it!

“That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough”

R.E.M. “Losing My Religion”

We Ain't Been Everywhere ... Yet

“As long as they want us we’ll keep coming back
Yeah, we ain’t been everywhere, but we’re trying to get there
Just let us tune up and we’ll throw down a set
Book us a room, we’ll be in your town soon
Cause we ain’t been everywhere … yet”

Those lines are from Verlon Thompson's song Everywhere ...Yet .
He somehow managed to make all of the places he has been with Guy Clark rhyme. I am not that good at poetry, but this song inspired me to think about all of the places I have been. All of the places I have "tuned up and thrown down a set" of research presentations or leadership development workshops.

When I decided to change careers in 1994, I never thought I would have the opportunity to travel. Laura and I were always jealous of our friends who got to go to all these neat places for business trips and conventions. But 15 years later we have been blessed to travel to lots of really neat places … and most of it on someone else’s dime!

As we were coming into Chicago’s O Hare Airport last Thursday, I looked at the maps in the back of the American Way magazine. I made a mental checklist of all of the places we have visited. Even if it doesn't rhyme, its quite a list!

So here’s the list of destinations we have visited:

New York - Boston - Ashville, NC
Charleston, SC - Washington, DC - Richmond, VA
Orlando - Tampa - New Orleans
Atlanta - Chicago - Memphis
San Antonio - Hobbs, NM - Austin
Kansas City, MO - Denver - Phoenix
Seattle - San Francisco - San Jose
Houston -San Diego - Honolulu
Lake Tahoe, NV - Philadelphia - Anaheim, CA
Salt Lake City - Las Vegas - Santa Fe
Houston - Brownfield, TX - Lake Charles, LA

Toronto and Vancouver, Canada
Sao Paulo and Rio de Janiero, Brazil
Helsinki, Finland
Zurich and Basel, Switzerland
Paris, France
London, England
Edinborough, Scotland

Before this I thought international travel was going to Oklahoma!

So ... "Book us a room, we’ll be in your town soon
Cause we ain’t been everywhere … yet”

This Time of Year

This time of year always calls forth a certain amount of nostalgia for me. I will forever equate this time of year with the adolescent right of passage known as two-a-days.

My first experience with two-a-days was in August 1972. As a fourteen year old sophomore I had been called to work out with the varsity at Arlington High. Expectations were high for the 1972 season. After two back-to-back district championships, the Colts were returning several starters and a couple of High School All-Americans. This was back in the day when only one team – the District Champion – went to the playoffs. It was also a time when there were no choices about two-a-days in August or an intense round of spring training. We did both and the start of the August practices was regulated by the UIL.

I will never forget the start of that first practice. Coach Carter called us together under the pecan trees at the north end of the practice field. In his distinct voice, he said:

“Somewhere in the state of Texas today the next state champion is practicing. Last year it was in San Antonio, the year before it was in Austin. ... But somewhere today, the next state champion is practicing. Let’s make it right here!”

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I still get goose bumps telling that story. We didn’t win the state championship, but we did win the district. We didn’t do a lot of winning during my junior or senior years – at least not on the field. But it was during those years with Coach Carter and his best friend, Assistant Coach Bob Howington, that I learned there were more important lessons to be learned. It was under their influence that I began to understand the importance of character.

There are those who are critical of the role of athletics in education. To those critics I would say that I had no classroom teacher that cared more about me as young man than Coach Carter and Coach Howington did. I wasn’t just an athlete to them.

To those critics I would also point out the number of kids that have something to be involved in on Friday nights. Whenever I go to a high school game, I am always impressed by the number of kids that are involved in something bigger than themselves on Friday nights: Band, Cheerleading, Pep Squad, Drill Team, Student Trainers, and Student Managers. And at Euless Trinity High School (where all of my kids went) many of the developmentally challenged kids are a big part of the football game because they serve as ball boys and pick up kicking tees after kickoffs. You can see the joy in their smiles as they participate in the big show.

I think H.G. Bissinger caught the essence of High School Football in the following passage from his book, Friday Night Lights. Let me set the scene for you. The West Texas district had ended in a 3-way tie between Odessa Permian, Midland High, and Midland Lee. The tie-breaker was a coin toss, with the “odd man out.” The Permian and Midland Lee coaches both tossed heads; the Midland coach tossed tails and was the odd man out.

At about 2:45 that Saturday morning the Midland coach spoke to his team after returning from the coin toss at The Convoy Truck Stop: “I told you that we had no control over a coin flip. I wish I could change the way things are, but I can’t. … I’m proud of each and every one of you.”

Then Bissinger writes: “As he tried to console them, there came a sound of high school football as familiar as the cheering, as familiar as the unabashed blare of the band, as familiar as the savage crash of pad against pad.

It was the sound of teenage boys weeping uncontrollably over a segment of their lives that they knew had just ended forever.”

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The Books of July

Just in case you're keeping score, the 2009 book list now has 51 completed books.

The most pleasant surprise this month was The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes. I rate that one a close second to The Help as the best summer reading so far.

I don't have a reading agenda for August.

Do you have any suggestions?

Here's the list from July:

Sleepwalking Through History: America in the Reagan Years, Haynes Johnson

Beyond Megachurch Myths: What We Can Learn from America’s Largest Churches, Scott Thuman and Dave Travis

The Perfect Leader: Practicing the Leadership Traits of God, Kenneth Boa

Handle With Care, Jody Picoult

When Men Think Private Thoughts, Gordon MacDonald

The Big Rich: The Rise and Fall of the Greatest Texas Oil Fortunes, Bryan Burrough

Creative Suffering, Paul Tournier

The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes, Diane Chamberlain