Projection

I don't know about you, but when someone tells me to trust them, a warning sign goes off. When someone says, "Trust me on this," it automatically causes me to wonder about their trustworthiness.

You see, I am a high-trust person and my tendency is to trust people until they give me a reason not to. So when someone tells me to trust them, I am suspect. Why are you having to tell me to trust you?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.

One explanation for this phenomena may be provided by the pyschological concept of projection. Projection is the tendency to project on to others the same traits we possess, yet deny. Projection occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else.

I have been working my way through a series of studies in the Older Testament. Recently, I came across this description of Jacob:

"Jacob was also hindered by his own bad character. He had been deceitful and treacherous to others, including his own twin brother (whose birth-right he had stolen), and he therefore expected others to treat him in the same manner. Men who are not trustworthy have a very difficult time trusting others - including God, the only One who is truly trustworthy." (MacArthur, The Father of Israel, p. 89).

Trust is a key component of any relationship and it is particularly important in the leader-follower relationship. Think about it: Do you want to follow a leader you don't trust?

So, when a leader begins to demand that we trust them, or to demand our loyalty, I begin to wonder about this idea of projection.

• Are you demanding trust and loyalty because you are not trustworthy and loyal?
• Are you expecting me to breach trust and become disloyal because you yourself aren't trustworthy and loyal?