At some point Friday I made a decision.
I decided to retire.
I have been doing this since I was a junior in high school and I think 35 years is enough for this career.
Over the years too many people had seen my resume and knew my background. They also knew I had this deep need for their approval and hated to say no. And, if I do say so myself: I was good at it!
When I began this, my first boss was excited to have hired a strong, burly football player. Although I am not as strong, I am still burly. I have worked out everyday since December 26, 2008 with one exception, but that did not get me in shape for Friday.
So, I am retiring.
I made this decision sometime Friday.
Sometime Friday as we carried triple dressers down three flights of apartment stairs.
Sometime Friday as I loaded sofas and mattresses into an open trailer.
Sometime Friday when I was tying stuff down and it was raining so hard I couldn’t see across the trailer, I made the decision:
I AM RETIRING.
The next time someone in our circle of family and friends decides to move, I will not be helping them.
I have retired.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Called or Driven? Part 2
This summer I am teaching a new course (for me) called Spirituality and Leadership. One of the books I have assigned for the class is the Gordon MacDonald classic, Ordering Your Private World.
In this book he discusses an important distinction between people that are driven and those who are called. According to MacDonald, “driven people often project a bravado of confidence as they forge ahead with their achievement-oriented life plan. But often, at moments when it is least expected, adversities and obstructions conspire, and there can be a personal collapse. Called people, on the other hand, possess strength from within, a quality of perseverance and power that are impervious to the blows from without.”
MacDonald identifies many symptoms of driven people:
> A driven person is most often gratified only by accomplishment.
> A driven person is preoccupied with the symbols of accomplishment.
> A driven person is usually caught in the uncontrolled pursuit of expansion.
> Driven people tend to have a limited regard for integrity.
> Driven people are not likely to bother themselves with the honing of people skills.
> Driven people tend to be highly competitive.
> A driven person often possesses a volcanic force of anger.
> Driven people are usually abnormally busy, are averse to play, and usually avoid spiritual worship.
Called people are qualitatively different.
> Called people understand stewardship. Careers, assets, natural and spiritual gifts, and health are merely managed in the name of the One who gave them. Driven people consider them owned.
> Called people know exactly who they are … and who they aren’t.
> Called people possess an unwavering sense of purpose.
> Called people practice an unswerving sense of commitment.
Are you called or are you driven?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Called or Driven? Part 1
I find that there are some books that I return to time and time again. Gordon MacDonald's Ordering Your Private World is one of those. In fact, there are several of his books that I draw from frequently.
I usually don't post entries from my journal here, but I feel led to do so this time. These thoughts are based on my journal entry on Friday April 3.
Since I assigned this book as required reading for my class this summer, I decided I would re-read it so that the material would be fresh (you know - so the stream would be running).
When I came to the chapters on called versus driven I had to take a deep breath. I have fought the driven thing for a while, but as I read the characteristics again I could see that perhaps I have been more driven than I realize. And of course I have gone far too long - and still have periods - where I do not cultivate the inner person with near enough intentionality and diligence.
"Be diligent" Paul says to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:15. I looked diligent up in the dictionary: "constant and earnest in effort and application."
It's so easy to be diligent on external matters - things that others can see and approve - but its difficult to be diligent on the hidden things - and yet it is the hidden things of the heart that will ultimately sustain us - or not.
Soil preparation, foundations, and structural strength are all necessary to build beautiful buildings. We marvel at what we see, yet think little, if at all, about the preparation and the strength of what is not seen.
As I write this down I am reminded of a walk with Justin around the neighborhood when he was very young. We came to a telephone pole on the street and he noticed how tall it was. And then he asked me, "How deep do they have to dig the hole in order for that tall telephone pole to be sturdy?"
It was a profound question: How deep does the foundation have to be in order to support the structure?
As I was reading Ordering Your Private World last night, I was reminded of Andy Stanley's quote that your giftedness and talents (external stuff) have the potential to take us further than our character (inner person of the heart) can sustain us. He adds: "And that ought to scare you!" If the pole doesn't have its "roots" planted deeply in the ground it will not be able to stand tall.
So Lord, don't let me take the inner person - the soul condition - for granted. Help me to be diligent in cultivating the inner person of the heart.
I usually don't post entries from my journal here, but I feel led to do so this time. These thoughts are based on my journal entry on Friday April 3.
Since I assigned this book as required reading for my class this summer, I decided I would re-read it so that the material would be fresh (you know - so the stream would be running).
When I came to the chapters on called versus driven I had to take a deep breath. I have fought the driven thing for a while, but as I read the characteristics again I could see that perhaps I have been more driven than I realize. And of course I have gone far too long - and still have periods - where I do not cultivate the inner person with near enough intentionality and diligence.
"Be diligent" Paul says to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:15. I looked diligent up in the dictionary: "constant and earnest in effort and application."
It's so easy to be diligent on external matters - things that others can see and approve - but its difficult to be diligent on the hidden things - and yet it is the hidden things of the heart that will ultimately sustain us - or not.
Soil preparation, foundations, and structural strength are all necessary to build beautiful buildings. We marvel at what we see, yet think little, if at all, about the preparation and the strength of what is not seen.
As I write this down I am reminded of a walk with Justin around the neighborhood when he was very young. We came to a telephone pole on the street and he noticed how tall it was. And then he asked me, "How deep do they have to dig the hole in order for that tall telephone pole to be sturdy?"
It was a profound question: How deep does the foundation have to be in order to support the structure?
As I was reading Ordering Your Private World last night, I was reminded of Andy Stanley's quote that your giftedness and talents (external stuff) have the potential to take us further than our character (inner person of the heart) can sustain us. He adds: "And that ought to scare you!" If the pole doesn't have its "roots" planted deeply in the ground it will not be able to stand tall.
So Lord, don't let me take the inner person - the soul condition - for granted. Help me to be diligent in cultivating the inner person of the heart.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I read for a living
As you know by now, I read a lot. To me it's part of the calling of a teacher. I believe we have a moral obligation to be "current" when we step into the classroom - I want to be the running stream rather than the stagnant pond.
When I think about reading, I am reminded of a friend of mine who is an attorney. I was always getting excited about some book I was reading and telling him that he ought to read this book. He was always patient with my exuberance, but one day - in his deep, slow voice - he finally told me, "I read for a living, and the last thing I want to do when I come home is read a book." That was the last time I offered a book recommendation to him.
But I think about his phrase: "I read for a living." I think that's what I do.
I haven't updated the reading list for y'all in a while. I have bold-faced the ones that I highly recommend.
Here's the list from February:
A Voice in the Wind, Francine Rivers
How Should We Then Live?: The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture, Francis A. Schaeffer
The 4:8 Principle: The Secret of a Joy-filled Life, Tommy Newberry
The Dust Off Their Feet: Lessons from the First Church, Chris Seay and Friends
In My Place Condemned He Stood: Celebrating the Glory of the Atonement, J.I Packer and Mark Dever
Lead to Succeed: New Testament Principles for Visionary Leadership, Stan Toler and Jerry Brecheisen
Killing Cockroaches and Other Scattered Musings on Leadership, Tony Morgan
And here's the list from March:
Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor, Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, James O’Toole, Patricia Ward Biederman
LeadershipNext: Changing Leaders in a Changing Culture, Eddie Gibbs
Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, Dorris Kearns Goodwin
A Sense of Urgency, John Kotter
That I May Know God: Pathways to Spiritual Formation, Kenneth Boa
Making Spiritual Sense: Christian Leaders As Spiritual Interpreters, Scott Cormode
When I think about reading, I am reminded of a friend of mine who is an attorney. I was always getting excited about some book I was reading and telling him that he ought to read this book. He was always patient with my exuberance, but one day - in his deep, slow voice - he finally told me, "I read for a living, and the last thing I want to do when I come home is read a book." That was the last time I offered a book recommendation to him.
But I think about his phrase: "I read for a living." I think that's what I do.
I haven't updated the reading list for y'all in a while. I have bold-faced the ones that I highly recommend.
Here's the list from February:
A Voice in the Wind, Francine Rivers
How Should We Then Live?: The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture, Francis A. Schaeffer
The 4:8 Principle: The Secret of a Joy-filled Life, Tommy Newberry
The Dust Off Their Feet: Lessons from the First Church, Chris Seay and Friends
In My Place Condemned He Stood: Celebrating the Glory of the Atonement, J.I Packer and Mark Dever
Lead to Succeed: New Testament Principles for Visionary Leadership, Stan Toler and Jerry Brecheisen
Killing Cockroaches and Other Scattered Musings on Leadership, Tony Morgan
And here's the list from March:
Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor, Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, James O’Toole, Patricia Ward Biederman
LeadershipNext: Changing Leaders in a Changing Culture, Eddie Gibbs
Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln, Dorris Kearns Goodwin
A Sense of Urgency, John Kotter
That I May Know God: Pathways to Spiritual Formation, Kenneth Boa
Making Spiritual Sense: Christian Leaders As Spiritual Interpreters, Scott Cormode
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Tyranny of the Quarterly
As the evening news begins to trickle out the results of the first quarter of economic activity, some unpleasant memories begin to crop up.
My last stop in corporate life was with a group I now call BOHICA HYDRAULICS. Bohica is an acronym for “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.”
(Please note: the actual name of the organization has been changed to protect the guilty.)
I had hoped those were the last of the Bohicans, but I still find members of this tribe in many of the organizations I consult with. They seem to be particularly resilient.
I may not have been as sensitive (and my being sensitive was a big problem for them) to the Bohican style of business if I had not spent so much time at Big Jim’s School of Business. While Big Jim’s was certainly not perfect, we operated with the philosophy that ideas won and lost, but people remained intact. We could have sharp disagreements, and even have raised voices over issues, but the disagreements were not personal. It was an example of what I call a “conflict-positive” organization.
Thus, the contrast effect was great when the Bohicans took over. In fact, it was the exact opposite of the culture at Big Jim’s. People won and lost, and ideas were never fully considered. Energy was spent on self-defense and protection, rather than productive discussion of ideas.
The Bohicans were particularly oppressive during the ritual known as the quarterly review, or simply “The Quarterly.” Four times a year, six of us would huddle around a conference table for 6-7 hours and review every detail of the company's performance.
The meetings were civil - for about the first 15 minutes - and then they turned loud and vulgar. Faces grew red, eyes bulged out, veins in necks looked like they would explode.
The favorite phrase in the Bohican language begins with an F. I was not aware that there were so many words that could be modified with this adjective.
I still have vivid memories of the day the CEO came out of his chair and leaned across the table, pointing in the face of our CFO and screaming about how he was “f..n away the little old lady shareholder in Pittsburg’s retirement.” And then he said “forget that little old lady. I am the largest stockholder – you’re f..n away my money!”
Unfortunately, that was the norm not the exception.
Everything we did in that organization was done with an eye on the quarterly. Decisions that would have been in the long-term best interest of the organization were avoided because of the impact it might have on the quarterly results.
Fortunately, I escaped the Bohicans and went back to graduate school. But in a way, Bohica Hydraulics was also a school:
It was there that I that I learned that the unmitigated bane of the American approach to business is the Tyranny of the Quarterly.
My last stop in corporate life was with a group I now call BOHICA HYDRAULICS. Bohica is an acronym for “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.”
(Please note: the actual name of the organization has been changed to protect the guilty.)
I had hoped those were the last of the Bohicans, but I still find members of this tribe in many of the organizations I consult with. They seem to be particularly resilient.
I may not have been as sensitive (and my being sensitive was a big problem for them) to the Bohican style of business if I had not spent so much time at Big Jim’s School of Business. While Big Jim’s was certainly not perfect, we operated with the philosophy that ideas won and lost, but people remained intact. We could have sharp disagreements, and even have raised voices over issues, but the disagreements were not personal. It was an example of what I call a “conflict-positive” organization.
Thus, the contrast effect was great when the Bohicans took over. In fact, it was the exact opposite of the culture at Big Jim’s. People won and lost, and ideas were never fully considered. Energy was spent on self-defense and protection, rather than productive discussion of ideas.
The Bohicans were particularly oppressive during the ritual known as the quarterly review, or simply “The Quarterly.” Four times a year, six of us would huddle around a conference table for 6-7 hours and review every detail of the company's performance.
The meetings were civil - for about the first 15 minutes - and then they turned loud and vulgar. Faces grew red, eyes bulged out, veins in necks looked like they would explode.
The favorite phrase in the Bohican language begins with an F. I was not aware that there were so many words that could be modified with this adjective.
I still have vivid memories of the day the CEO came out of his chair and leaned across the table, pointing in the face of our CFO and screaming about how he was “f..n away the little old lady shareholder in Pittsburg’s retirement.” And then he said “forget that little old lady. I am the largest stockholder – you’re f..n away my money!”
Unfortunately, that was the norm not the exception.
Everything we did in that organization was done with an eye on the quarterly. Decisions that would have been in the long-term best interest of the organization were avoided because of the impact it might have on the quarterly results.
Fortunately, I escaped the Bohicans and went back to graduate school. But in a way, Bohica Hydraulics was also a school:
It was there that I that I learned that the unmitigated bane of the American approach to business is the Tyranny of the Quarterly.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Soccer Memories
It’s been a long time since I bundled up to go watch a soccer game.
Last Saturday, my granddaughter – Landrie – played her first soccer game. I bundled up in my heaviest coat and ear muffs and stood in the cold to watch her.
And a flood of memories were unleashed. You see, Landrie’s game was at the same YMCA where Jennifer (Landrie’s mom), Justin, Jordan, and Janelle all played their first soccer games.
Maybe we should say it’s where they were first on a soccer field with a soccer ball and another team. If you’ve ever observed this, its hard to call it soccer – maybe herd ball would be better. I can still remember that Jordan and her cousin Kyndra were more interested in chasing the butterflies than the soccer ball.
The soccer fields were right next to the baseball fields where Jennifer and Justin played their first t-ball games. I remembered the game when Jennifer was in the pitcher position and was hit hard in the stomach by a line drive. She picked the ball up and threw to Justin covering first base and made the out. Then, she started crying. Always make the play! I also remembered the time when the bases were loaded and one of the kid's dad told him that the “weight of the free world was on his shoulders” as he stepped to the tee.
Janelle was at those games too. A bald headed baby girl. To make sure everyone knew she was a girl, Laura glued a little bow on her head. (Our babies always had bows; well, not Justin…) All of the kids inherited my complexion and tan very easily. So, Janelle’s little bald head was tanned nicely – except for the bow shaped untanned spot!
So here I was last Saturday. All bundled up with my back to the north wind, trying to watch Landrie’s game amidst the flood of memories that were washing through my head.
Last Saturday, my granddaughter – Landrie – played her first soccer game. I bundled up in my heaviest coat and ear muffs and stood in the cold to watch her.
And a flood of memories were unleashed. You see, Landrie’s game was at the same YMCA where Jennifer (Landrie’s mom), Justin, Jordan, and Janelle all played their first soccer games.
Maybe we should say it’s where they were first on a soccer field with a soccer ball and another team. If you’ve ever observed this, its hard to call it soccer – maybe herd ball would be better. I can still remember that Jordan and her cousin Kyndra were more interested in chasing the butterflies than the soccer ball.
The soccer fields were right next to the baseball fields where Jennifer and Justin played their first t-ball games. I remembered the game when Jennifer was in the pitcher position and was hit hard in the stomach by a line drive. She picked the ball up and threw to Justin covering first base and made the out. Then, she started crying. Always make the play! I also remembered the time when the bases were loaded and one of the kid's dad told him that the “weight of the free world was on his shoulders” as he stepped to the tee.
Janelle was at those games too. A bald headed baby girl. To make sure everyone knew she was a girl, Laura glued a little bow on her head. (Our babies always had bows; well, not Justin…) All of the kids inherited my complexion and tan very easily. So, Janelle’s little bald head was tanned nicely – except for the bow shaped untanned spot!
So here I was last Saturday. All bundled up with my back to the north wind, trying to watch Landrie’s game amidst the flood of memories that were washing through my head.
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