My Legacy Marriage

32 years with my Proverbs 31 W0man!

Today we celebrate 32 years of marriage ... and it just keeps getting better!

Throughout this fall season, Laura and I have been teaching the Legacy Marriage material to a group of younger couples.

You may remember my definition of Legacy Marriage:

A Legacy Marriage is a marriage that is a blessing to us now,

and that will be a blessing to others for generations to come.

Our marriage has certainly been a blessing to us. And we sincerely hope that it is a blessing to others!

We will wrap up this session of Legacy Marriage next week. As I was reflecting on our marriage this morning and thinking about what we hope to be teaching and modeling, it occurred to me to ask and answer this question:

What have we learned in 32 years?

1. Marriage is not about me.

2. The main thing is to make your mate the main thing. Focus on meeting her needs. I call this the principle of reciprocity. If I focus on meeting Laura's needs, her response is to meet my needs. And she meets my needs in greater abundance than they would have been met if I had just been focusing on myself. I would like to take credit for this idea, but I can't. It is actually a biblical principle based on Philippians 2: 3-4:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

3. Its not my job to change my spouse. That's God's job. My job is to be the husband I am supposed to be - regardless of what she does or doesn't do.

4. The greatest inheritance a father can give his children is to love their mother.


Today we celebrate 32 years of Legacy Marriage.

I am looking forward to at least 32 more years!

The Catalytic Mindset

Organizational inertia is the tendency of an organization to continue moving in the same direction until acted upon by some force that changes the direction.

Like individual people, organizations often become creatures of habit - continuing to follow the same routines and the same strategies. The status quo becomes the dominant force and stagnation sets in. Borrowing an image from ecology, when the organization fails to adapt to the changes going on in the environment, the environment will select that organization out.

The catalyst for changing an organization's trajectory is often a leader who recognizes that while changing will be uncomfortable and risky, not changing is an even riskier proposition.

Challenging the status quo in this way is an inherently high-risk position, but this is a differentiating factor between managers and leaders. A manager’s tolerance for risk is often trumped by a dominant need for survival. Leaders, on the other hand, are often temperamentally predisposed to seek risk. They react to the mundane nature of managerial work as to an affliction.

Where managers act to limit choices among potentially acceptable compromise positions, leaders actually seek to develop fresh approaches to existing problems. They seek to open issues to new options that may have never been considered. Leaders challenge long-standing assumptions and raise expectations by casting a vision that appeals to the head and the heart.

Leaders are change agents who change the trajectory of their organizations. They facilitate the adaptive work of their organization and seek to position the organization for long-term sustainability.

Change is always risky because we never have absolute certainty on how it will turn out. Leader's understand this. But they also understand this crucial fact:

If there is cost for changing,

there is a cost -usually an even greater cost - of not changing.

The Moral Mindset

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Those who lead always have people who are dependent upon them. The greater the dependency, the more power a leader has. So, a central question for those who lead is:

How will you handle the dependency of your followers?

Leaders must develop an acute sensitivity to the moral responsibilities inherent in their role.

Recently I had a conversation with a high-potential leader. We were discussing the power inherent in the leadership role. He told me “It scares me to death that I might be in a role where people will do what I ask simply because of my role.”

I responded by saying: “Stay scared.”

As long as leaders are sensitive to the power inherent in their position and realize their own potential to abuse that power, they will be on the right path.

It’s when we lose that perspective that we start down the road of unethical leadership.

So, stay scared.

The Collaborative Mindset

The collaborative mindset is all about appreciating relationships . This is a critical ingredient in leadership.

Leadership is intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship.

Because relationships are the primary context for the leadership process, leaders must develop the interpersonal dimension of organizations. The development of this capacity must begin with the leader. The leader must model the way and take the initiative for developing relationships throughout the organization.

Those who rise to leadership positions without cultivating the skills of relationship-building, negotiating, stakeholder coordination, and knowledge management will have limited effectiveness.

So, effective leaders understand the importance of developing emotional intelligence - EQ. Emotionally intelligent leaders are aware of their emotions and use their emotions in a constructive way.

Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence are also aware of the emotions of others. They display empathy as they help others manage their own emotions.

Leaders who lack the skills associated with emotional intelligence lose their influence and may actually derail their careers.

How's your EQ? Are you cultivating and nurturing your relationship with those you lead?

The Worldly Mindset

Navigating Complex Environments

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive, you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Contemporary organizations operate in increasingly dynamic and complex global environments. In order to survive and thrive, every leader must wrestle with how to cope and adapt in their environmental context.

Here’s a fancy term to use when trying to impress your friends: requisite variety.

The principle of requisite variety states that the organization’s response to the environment in which it operates must match the environment. So, if the environment is becoming increasingly complex and dynamic, so must the organization. The big idea is matching the structure of the organization with the characteristics of the environment.

When the operating environment is simple and stable, the organization can afford to be more mechanistic, using policies and procedures to deal with the normal operation of the organization.

But, when environmental complexity increases, the organization must be much more organic. In this environment, rules and regulations will not be sufficient to meet the demands placed on the organization. These environments require empowered employees who use their own judgment to respond to customer demands and solve problems.

This in turn requires leaders to develop the adaptive capacity of their teams and trust those teams to act in the best interest of the organization and its stakeholders.

Does the structure of your organization match the environment that it operates in?

Are you practicing requisite variety?

Bad Leadership - Part 3

“Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
Who take you where you should not go.”

My car has the On-Star navigation system. That’s a really good thing for a directionally challenged guy like me. I can call On-Star, give them the address I’m trying to find, and they provide directions. Of course, I think I know best sometimes and I decide to deviate from the prescribed path. When I do that, a voice comes on and tells me, “You have left the designated path.” To get back on the designated path, On-Star tells me to "make a safe and legal u-turn.”

As leaders, we need people in our lives who will tell us when we have left the designated path. These are people who are not only willing to tell us we’re off the right path, but they move in alongside us and help us make the necessary u-turns.

There is an interesting teaching going around these days. It’s the idea that we are to be loyal armor bearers for our leaders, trusting their vision without questioning.

I am all for loyalty - two-way loyalty that flows both ways: from the leader to the follower and from the follower to the leader. But, I don’t think loyalty requires a whole-hearted endorsement when the leader has left the proper path and is on the road to derailment.

In these cases, the most loyal thing a follower can do is confront the leader.

We all have blindspots in our lives: Areas that are known to others and unknown to ourselves. Others see it clearly when we cannot – or when we refuse to acknowledge it. I want people in my life who love me enough to confront those blindspots and turn me around.

When should we be willing to confront a leader? What are the signs that a leader has left the designated path and needs to make a u-turn? Recently, Chuck Swindoll identified six areas that should cause alarm for us as followers. I have used his list as the basis for the following list of warning signs:

Authoritarianism. Take care when a leader begins repressing your freedom. If there is a lack of a servant's heart, and if the leader doesn’t have a teachable spirit, then pride is in control. Be especially wary of one who seems to have all the answers.

Exclusiveness. Watch out for the "we alone are right" and the "us four and no more" attitudes. Exclusiveness often shows up when people are encouraged to break commitments with long-standing friends. Some leaders actually ban contact with those who left their organization. In extreme cases, employees are terminated because they didn't sever ties with former members of the organization.

Greed. We are told to avoid even the appearance of greed (Ephesians 5:3). When there is a lack of transparency in the budgeting process and accounting for funds and requests for a more open process are stone-walled, beware.

Sensuality. Moral purity is a must if the leader claims God's hand is on his life. A holy life is never optional.

Lack of accountability. Leaders who refuse to be accountable to anyone forfeit the right to be trusted and followed. Every leader needs counsel and occasional confrontation. Many leaders have set up systems of pseudo-accountability to people who operate at a distance. These systems give the appearance of accountability, but the leader is shunning real accountability to anyone who is close enough to observe their day-to-day dealings.

Rationalization. This takes several forms:

• When wrong is justified with a defensive spirit,


• When inappropriate actions are quickly glossed over,


• When scriptural truth is twisted to fit a sinful lifestyle,


• When gray-black facts are whitewashed,


• When behavior is defended using definitional technicalities,


• When tremendous amounts of energy are spent attacking and labeling critics, ...

When any of these things happen, something is deeply wrong.

When these signs first appear, a loyal follower should challenge and confront the leader. If the leader shuns the reprimand and continues on the path, then the obligation of loyalty has been breached. Stop your support.

Jesus Himself said, "Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit." (Matthew 15:14)

"Watch out now, take care ..."

The Analytic Mindset

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Successful leadership of complex organizations requires the development of a “meso” approach that integrates the macro (big picture stuff like strategy and structure) and the micro (the stuff that deals with the individual employee and department of the organization) elements of the organization.


The analytic mindset is developed through the exposure to and application of the analytical tools used to manage specific organizations and to formal approaches that improve managerial effectiveness.

This requires that the concepts of strategy, structure, culture, technology, and human resources be understood in a systematic way that allows leaders to view the process of leading as a melding of science, art and craft. These subsystems are interrelated and interdependent. You cannot address issues in one area in isolation from the others. If you change something in one subsystem, it will impact the others. Ceteris paribus (holding everything else constant) might work in economics, but it doesn't work when leading complex organizations.

Several years ago I was engaged in a consulting project for a large IT department. As part of my assessment I interviewed the executives and directors. I asked each of them this question: "What is the most pressing issue facing your organization right now?" The responses were unanimous. Every one told me that they needed to restructure the organization. I responded to that by asking "What's your strategy?"

They were somewhat taken aback by my new question and wondered why I asked that question. The reason was simple: Until you have clear sense of your strategy, you really cannot determine the appropriate structure.

The key idea in this analytical mindset is alignment. Are the structures, processes, and people aligned with the strategy of the organization?

Let me be somewhat of a contrarian here. Jim Collins says you have to get the right people on the bus. I agree to some extent. You do need to get the right people on the bus – and get some off the bus (But don’t throw them under the bus!). But you cannot determine who the right people are until you have a clear sense of what it is you’re trying to achieve.

There’s an old cliche that gets circulated through Principles of Management courses: “Structure Follows Strategy.”

Indeed, structure should follow strategy. And, processes should follow strategy; and people should follow strategy.

Maybe its time to do an alignment check on your organization.

The Reflective Mindset

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

“Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me.”

I begin most of my leadership talks with that statement. Before I can lead others, I must thoroughly understand myself. I must examine and challenge myself to make sure that I am worthy of imitation.

The reflective mindset requires a leader to gain an understanding of their personal leadership philosophy and style - how they present themselves to others, their strengths and weaknesses, and their current leadership skills. This is achieved through a thorough, reflective, and often uncomfortable self examination.

A useful tool for developing the reflective mindset is the development of a Life-Map. The best way to begin the process is to do a placing exercise by creating a time line of your life, from birth to the present. Above the time line record the major social and political events of your life. For example, I was born in 1960, so my time line includes JFK, Rock-n-Roll, Civil Rights Movement, Walking on the Moon.

Below the line, record the key personal events and relationships of your life. Some things to consider are:

Educational experiences
Family situations
New job/career directions
Promotion/special projects
Interactions with a significant individual
Personal crises

Once the placing exercise is done, you now have the raw data for developing your Life-Map.

The Life Map exercise extends the placing exercise by asking you to reflect on how these events impacted your personality, values, worldview and leadership style.

It may be helpful to label or classify these events based on the meaning and significance each event held for you. Here are some suggested categories:

Milestone events are characterized as a means to an end. They are checkpoints in your life course.

Confirmational events affirm or disconfirm some particular attribution of your professional self, organizational or career reality.

Decisional events represent the decisions or choices you actively make. These events represent a conscious choice and require a high level of involvement and commitment. These decisions are based on a belief that they will result in a positive outcome that is congruent with the individual’s hopes and aspirations.

Transformational events shake the entire fabric of an individual’s life. Frequently they touch the very core of your being by challenging your life purpose and result in a transformation of many aspects of your life. These events provide the catalyst for profound change in direction, self-perception and worldview.

In addition, you should look for “crucible events.” Crucible events are defined as trials that rupture the status quo by coming upon us unexpectedly. They force us to answer fundamental questions about our identity, values, purpose, and priorities.

Taken together as a whole, these exercises should help you identify the meta-narrative of your life. These are the stories about the events that shaped your view of the world and that help you make sense of the otherwise apparent randomness of life (Andy Stanley, The Principle of the Path).

Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me. I need to look deep inside of myself to understand my worldview, my values, my style. Its not easy and sometimes its painful.

Allow yourself the discomfort of doing this important work.

The Six Mindsets of Leadership

One of my favorite movie scenes occurs in The Paper Chase. Professor Kingsfield (played excellently by John Houseman) is addressing his first-year students at Harvard Law School. He tells them:

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a lawyer.”

I would love to give a similar speech to my leadership students:

“You came here with a mindful of mush,

and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a LEADER!”

I just don’t think I could pull it off with a straight face.

Despite my lack of acting ability, I do think there are certain things that are necessary for the development of effective leaders. I call these the six mindsets of leadership.

In the next several posts, I will be explaining these. These are the core issues that I seek to develop in my students and my executive coaching clients.

Here’s the Big Idea:

Leading effectively in the context of an increasingly dynamic and diverse environment requires the development six leadership mindsets.


Do you have the mind of a leader?

Finishing Strong

During a conversation with a friend the other day we were joking with each other that we were in the “Second Half.” (Of course, he’s further into the second half than I am!)

As I thought about this, I began reflecting on some men that I know who are even further into the second half. In fact, they are well into the fourth quarter. But they are still in the game, fighting the good fight.

One of these men is Dean. Dean is in his eighties, still working full-time and more excited about his ministry now than he has ever been. Last year he sat in on a class I taught because (in his words), “I have so much to learn.”

I hope when I am in my eighties I still have the passion to serve and the desire to learn.

Another man I think of is Foy. He was in a small group leadership training program I was conducting a few years ago. One week we met in his home that he had lived in for 50+ years. During the refreshment time, I mentioned to him that I was always surprised to see people in his generation at a church that was intentionally focused on young people. I said, “I know the music must drive you crazy.” I had barely finished the sentence when Foy said, “But it’s not about me!”

I hope when I am Foy’s age I am still attending training sessions to equip me for a new ministry assignment.

I hope I will be able to say “It’s not about me” when the style of worship doesn’t line up with my personal preferences but is having a huge impact on others.

Dean and Foy are well into the Second Half. They have chosen to Finish Strong.

May their tribe increase!


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."

The View from the Summit - Part Six

The Land Between
Jeff Manion

The space in our lives that we most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit we most desperately need.

Leaders move people from Here to There. But what happens between Here and There?

The Israelites were moving from Egypt to the Promised Land, but there was a lot of time “between.” They were out of slavery, but not yet in the promised land.

The land between is fertile soil. It is fertile for:

A. Complaint. Complaining about condition vs complaining against God, which is the equivalent of cosmic treason.

B. Meltdown. “The burden is too heavy; I can’t carry it anymore.” All spiritual leaders experience this. In Numbers 11 we see the honest prayer of a great spiritual leader. Moses cries out to God:

"Why have You been so hard on Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that You should say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which You swore to their fathers'? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, 'Give us meat that we may eat! I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness."

C. God’s Provision. God provides leaders to team up with us. In Number 11:16, God hears Moses plea and provides him some help:

The LORD therefore said to Moses, "Gather for Me seventy men from the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and their officers and bring them to the tent of meeting, and let them take their stand there with you. Then I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you will not bear it all alone.”

D. God’s Discipline. Discipline is inflicting pain for a redemptive purpose. The Israelites had been complaining about manna and wanted some meat to eat. So God answered their prayer.

It’s actually humorous because He tells them that they will have meat, meat, and more meat. So much meat that they will become sick of it! He actually uses this to teach the Israelites a lesson.

“Therefore the LORD will give you meat and you shall eat. 'You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before Him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?"'"

E. Transformational Growth. The land between was intended to transform the people of Israel and get them ready for the Promised Land. They needed to learn to trust God, to pray, and to depend on Him.

Transformational growth doesn’t happen automatically. It is here that we learn about the sufficiency of God.

"The LORD said to Moses, "Is the LORD'S power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not." "

When we are in between Here and There, our heart is in danger. We have left the known and have not yet arrived in the promised land. In the land between, a choice has to be made: Growth or Death.

Complaint shows up without an invitation and resists eviction. We deter complaint by inviting trust in. Trust evicts complaint.

Are you in between? Are you in a place that is uncomfortable?

The space in my life that I most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit I most desperately need.

The View from the Summit - Part Five

You don't have to talk to me for very long before you realize that Andy Stanley is one of my favorite leadership authors. So, I was particularly excited to see that he was on the faculty of this year's Leadership Summit.

My thoughts about Andy were affirmed when Bill Hybels introduced him by saying that "Andy's success has not gone to his head or his heart."

The Upside of Tension

Myth: "Great leaders with mature organizations will resolve all the problems and eliminate tension."

Fact: "Some tensions are never resolved and some problems are never solved. The key is to leverage the dynamics in a way that creates progress. We need to manage pressure and tension in a way that results in progress."

I. Every organization has problems that shouldn't be solved and tensions that shouldn't be resolved.

A. What's more important? Examples: effectiveness or efficiency? responsiveness or profitability? academic rigor or relevance? Evangelism or Discipleship?

B. If you "resolve" any of those tensions, you will create a new tension.

C. If you resolve any of those tensions, you create a barrier to progress.

D. Progress depends not on the resolution of those tensions but on the successful management of those tensions.

II. To distinguish between problems to solve and tensions to manage, ask the following questions:

• Does the problem or tension keep resurfacing?
• Are there mature advocates on both sides?
• Are the two sides really interdependent?

Example of a tension in a Biblically Functioning Church: Is our primary role as a Church to create mature believers or is it to keep it attractive and safe for non-believers?

III. The role of leadership is to leverage the tension to the benefit of your organization.

A. Identify the tensions to be managed in your organization.

B. Create terminology for a 3rd category: "Tensions we have to manage."

C. Inform your core. Make sure the key players understand the fact that this is not ever going away!

D. Continually give value to both sides.

E. Don't weigh in too heavily based on your personal preferences. A leader's opinion/personality will accidentally take things off the table. As leaders we need to understand the upside of the opposite side and understand the downside of your side.

F. Don't allow strong personalities to win the day. I need passionate people who will champion their side and mature people who will recognize the reality of needing to live with tensions.

G. Don't think in terms of balance. Think in terms of rhythm. In the rhythm of an organization's life there will be times to lean heavily and times to lean away. Make the call under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

As a leader, one of the most valuable things you can do for your organization is differentiate between tensions your organization will always need to manage vs. problems that need to be solved.

The View from the Summit - Part Four

When Leaders Fall - Adam Hamilton

Leaders seem to be particularly susceptible to temptations that when acted on lead to personal derailment. I have previously posted comments about the road to derailment. Hamilton's talk was focused on derailment due to temptations in the area of improper relationships and sexual misconduct.

Why are leaders so susceptible?

• We are wired for reproduction.
• We have a deep desire for intimacy and companionship.
• We have a inherent sin drive that can lead to self-destruction.
• Leaders are attractive to others.
• When we are empty, we are vulnerable.

"The moment of the maybe" when we begin to play with an idea in our mind. While it may be natural to find others attractive, we should never communicate those thoughts.

"There is a short distance between communicating feelings and acting on them."

Five R's for Resisting Temptation:

1. Remember who you are: Lord I belong to you.
2. Recognize the consequences of your actions: How will you feel after?
3. Rededicate yourself to God: Stop, Drop, and Pray.
4. Reveal your struggle to a trusted friend.
5. Remove yourself from the situation.

In his book The Next Generation Leader, Andy Stanley poses two important questions for dealing with temptations:

• "What little thing in your life has the potential to become a big thing?"
• "Who other than you knows about it?"

We need to practice James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. "

As leaders we have a target on our back. Opponents would love to see us fall, and the Enemy would love to remove us from our places of influence.

Wise leaders will heed the warnings and proactively place firm boundaries into their lives.

The View from the Summit - Part Three

Tony Dungy was interviewed by Jimmy Mellado. These are the highlights of that interview.

Influences on his leadership philosophy. He was greatly influenced by his father who was a professor. His father described his job as "helping students get A's."

The next influence was Coach Chuck Noll who told him that his only job as a coach was to "help players play better."

Thus, "the job of any leader is to help those you lead get better."

As he discussed this, I was reminded of lessons I learned from my own father. When I first became a manager my dad told me that my job was to create an environment where people could perform. A few years later I began teaching part-time and my dad told me that my primary task as a teacher was to create an environment where students could learn.

Living with life balance. "We are going to win, but can't make football your life." He modeled balance for his staff and his team. The facility was open to families and he often had his children at practices and meetings.

• Be efficient; get work done.


• Don't mistake hours for productivity.


• Don't feel guilty about going home.

Mentoring. "We have to be available to mentor. A 30 second conversation with a mentor can change your life. Everybody should have a Paul and a Timothy in their life."

What does mentoring look like? "Learn about the mentee and develop the relationship. The informal part is so much more important than the formal part."

"The biggest thrill you get is watching people come in and develop."

What type of person do you look for? "The Lord puts people in your path. We need to be intentional about reaching out to young people in our community." Dungy feels a calling from the Lord to reach junior/senior high school kids.

Dungy's Mom and Dad were his first mentors. "All the people in his life led him to Jesus Christ. Jesus is the best mentor/leader I have ever been involved with."

"What would it profit to win the Super Bowl but not know Jesus?"

The View from the Summit - Part Two

Session 2: Jim Collins author of Good to Great and How the Mighty Fall.

“Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.”

Series of Stages in Failure:

Great -->Good -->Mediocre -->Bad -->Irrelevant -->Gone

There's an analogy between sick organizations and people who have cancer. Both are already sick on the inside, but still look strong on the outside. The disease may be well advanced before any signs of its presence become obvious.

Stage 1: Hubris born of success: Outrageous arrogance that inflicts suffering on the innocent.

Stage 2: Undisciplined pursuit of more that allows growth to exceed capacity.

Stage 3: Denial of risk & peril: warning signs are denied and a culture of denial takes hold.

Stage 4: Grasping for salvation:

Stage 5: Capitulation: It’s over; capital is squandered.

As Collins was discussing the stages of organizational decline, I couldn't help but think of the parallels with individual derailment.

Stage I: Failure of Self-Awareness
Leaders on the road to derailment have an acute lack of self-awareness. Knowing ourselves and our inner thoughts informs us of the needs, desires, hopes and moods of others that we might respond appropriately.

This self-awareness parallels emotional intelligence. It involves empathy, consideration and attentiveness to employees' interests. Derailing leaders seem oblivious to how their behavior impacts others and the resulting failure to build a strong alignment alliance. They have huge blindspots and can’t see beyond their own understanding of their personal truth.

Stage II: Hubris: Pride before the Fall
Power provides one of the most revealing tests of a person’s character. While a failure of character manifests itself in many ways, arrogance stands as the most self-destructive.

Just as humility seems to be at the epicenter of leadership effectiveness, arrogance is commonly at the root of a leader’s undoing. Arrogance is the "mother of all derailers."

Arrogant leaders seem to eschew feedback that's beneficial to any leader. They become “truth-starved.”

Stage III: Missed Early Warning Signals
Like people who ignore blatant warning signals and cross railroads in front of a train, derailment signs are usually there, but not heeded.

Otherwise-talented leaders don't see the signals of subtle but persistent feedback about their inner state, or other's diminishing confidence in them.

Early warning signs should have jarred their attention to avoid the danger ahead. Instead, these distracted leaders barrel ahead toward the inevitable crash.

Stage IV: Rationalization
When it finally becomes apparent that a leader is losing his or her constituents' confidence, defenses are heightened. A siege mentality takes over, and the leader starts to rationalize.

In Stage IV the leader isolates himself and becomes increasing insulated from the information that could either fend off disaster greatly limit the damage.

The most damning consequence is that derailing leaders lie to themselves. Some may even believe, “I'm too important to fail.”

The derailing leader twists data to fit their world view. In an attempt to maintain psychological equilibrium, the derailing leader believes the lie, despite many warning signs.

Stage V: Derailment
Derailment is not inevitable, but without attention to development, it is probable. Just like the fall of mighty organizations, derailment is a process that proceeds in predictable stages.

Ignoring the early warning signs puts us in great peril.

As with organizational failure, the steps toward derailment are largely self-inflicted. Derailment is more the result of what a leader does to him or her self than it is what happens to them.

Are there subtle warning signs that you're ignoring?

Are you isolating yourself from feedback and loyal criticism?

Are you taking a step onto the path that leads to derailment?

Is your internal GPS system telling you to "make a safe and legal u-turn?"

Will you heed that inner voice?

The View from the Summit - Part One

Summit: "the highest point or part."

When you are at the summit, you have a different perspective. You can see farther and you can see the big picture unfolding. Like the coach who sits in the press box, you can see the plays unfolding. The view provides a perspective that the coach on the sidelines doesn’t have.

Last week I had the opportunity to go to the Summit: The Global Leadership Summit sponsored by Willow Creek Community Church. Being at the Summit, I have some new perspectives on leadership and I will be sharing those insights and my reflections with you.

Session 1: Bill Hybels

Leaders move people from Here to There.
There is a preferred future that releases passion. This is the promise on the other side and provides a purpose for the temporary, yet painful, discomfort of making deep change. The point of beginning for deep change is not to make there seem wonderful, but to make here sound awful.

The change process begins by creating a sense of urgency that will overcome the sources of complacency. The leader’s role is to create a sense of “Holy Discontent” with the current situation.

While going there may be risky, staying here is even more risky.

We can’t stay here!

It takes Fantastic People to move from Here to There.
The greatest joy of leadership is assembling a team of fantastic people. They have character, competence, chemistry and fantastic people fit the culture of the organization. When there is a fit, people flourish.

Mile Markers and Celebrations.
Deep change may take 18-36 months. Leaders need to keep people on the journey. There is excitement at the beginning of the journey and great anticipation as we approach the end, but in the middle people hope wains. The mean-time between here and there is mean. Vision leaks. People forget how bad the past was and cannot yet see the promise of the future.

Therefore, leaders need to generate, plan for, and celebrate short-terms wins that provide hope that we will get there.

Whispers from God.

We don’t get from here to there without hearing from God in the process

John 10:27: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

I hear from God primarily through his Word. But I also hear directly from His Spirit. He puts thoughts in my mind that are not my thoughts.

Do you think God speaks? If you felt God was transmitting to you, how concerned would you be about the quality of your antenna?

“The smartest moves I have ever made as a leader didn’t come from my own wisdom, but from whispers from God.”

Can you say: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3:9)

Will you do everything in your power to hear and heed His voice?

The Books of Summer

One of my favorite movies of all time is For Love of the Game.

There's a line in the movie when Billy Chapel meets Jane. Her car has broken down on the highway as she was trying to get out of town. He asks her why she's getting out of town and she responds, "Because summer's over and I missed it."

I have had several summers in the past that I could describe with that quote. Not so this summer. It has been an easy and relaxing summer. We took several mini-vacations and even the pace at the university was less intense than summers past.

So, there has been an expanded opportunity to read. Here's the book list for the summer (Boldfaced titles are highly recommended!):

Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls, Noel Tichy & Warren Bennis

Miles From Nowhere, Nami Mun

David: A Man of Passion and Destiny, Chuck Swindoll

Think Again: Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions and How to Keep it From Happening to You, Sydney Finkelstein, Jo Whitehead, & Andrew Campbell

Rescuing Ambition, David Harvey

Beach House, Jane Green

Raising Cole: A Father’s Story, Marc Pittman

Heart of the Matter, Emily Giffin

Losing the Promised Land: Elisha and the Kings of Judah, John MacArthur

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson

What is God Really Like? Craig Groeschel, Editor

Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters, Timothy Keller

The Girl Who Played With Fire, Stieg Larsson

Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraordinary Spiritual Leaders, Reggie McNeal

Leaders Who Last, Dave Kraft

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest, Stieg Larsson

Yep. I read the Stieg Larsson trilogy. Perhaps the best thriller/spy novel books I have read in a long time.

No Offs

Have you ever played the domino game 42?

Its a great game. If you like the card games of Spades or Hearts, you would love 42. Its all about bidding, catching tricks, or trying the set the other team's effort to make their bid.

42 is based on one point for every trick you catch (7) + the value of all the multiple of 5 dominoes you catch (3-2, 4-1, 5-0, 6-4, 5-5). If you catch all of those, the points add up to 35. So, 7 + 35 = 42.

In 42 sometimes you draw a hand that is a "lay down" hand. You have all the high trumps and the rest of the hand is doubles. There's no point in playing out the hand because you cannot be set. So, you just lay it down.

Lay down hands have "no offs." Offs are "weak" dominoes that you hope you can walk through on the last hand of the round.

If the logic of 42 escapes you, find one of your Aggie friends. They play 42 at the Dixie Chicken in College Station and keep score with chalk marks on the tables.

If the math of 42 escapes you, you may need remediation because even the Aggies get the math of 42.


I have been thinking for a while about albums in my collection that have no offs. You know how it is - you buy an album (yes an album is the correct term - even if its a CD or MP3 download. I know - I am old school.) You bought the album because there is a really good song or two, but the rest of album isn't so good ... it has lots of offs.

But every once in a while, you get an album that has no offs.

Here's my list of No Off Albums:

Guy Clark, Old Number One

Neil Young, Harvest

Leon Russell, Leon Russell

Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road actually deserves extra credit. Its a double album with no offs. If Elton was playing 42 with that album he would have bid "two marks" or 84. And he would have made it because Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is a "lay down hand" that has "no offs."

So, what are your no off albums? I'd like to know.

But, there are rules to the game: Live albums and greatest hit compilations are not eligible for the list.

So, review the hand of albums you have and make your bids!

Bad Leadership - Part 2

In a previous post, I discussed the seven types of Bad Leadership that were identified by Barbara Kellerman.

She points out that in every case of bad leadership, followers played an important role. They either actively supported the leader’s behavior, or passively allowed it … and failed to confront.

There are several explanations for follower compliance in cases of Bad Leadership:

1. The follower’s values may actually be aligned with those of the leader. As with Jim Jones and the People’s Temple, these followers drank the Kool-Aid and cannot see the leader as “bad.” In fact, they become the most ardent supporters of the leader and actively seek to eliminate any who dissent.

2. The follower doesn’t have the courage to speak up. This is often due to having seen others who spoke up being berated or even dismissed. As I write this I am reminded of the quote: “All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.”

3. The follower actually see’s the leader’s behavior as bad, but cannot afford to lose their position. In spite of the bad leadership, these followers are being compensated – through position, prestige, and income – in a way that they would not be in any other organization. They don’t stay because they want to; they stay because they have to.

I have had the privilege of having had several mentors. Early in my career, the founder and CEO of the company I was working for took me under his wing. One of the many lessons I learned from him was: “Don’t defend a bad job.”

The lesson had to do with defending shabby work – either my own or that of someone who worked for me. The basic lesson was this: own the problem. Don’t deny that it exists. Do whatever you can to fix it.

I think that’s a good lesson for followers: “Don’t defend a bad job.” Don’t deny problems with a leader’s behavior. Do what you can to help the leader.

I realize that this can be difficult. Often when a leader is derailing, he or she is not open to feedback and those who raise questions or attempt to confront the issues, are punished or dismissed.

Yet, to continue to support a derailing leader may require a follower to compromise their own integrity.

It’s a tough call, but: Abandon the mission before you abandon your integrity.

The Benefits of Margin - Part 2

These days, the calendar has lots of open space. Scheduled appointments and meetings are few and far between. This works very well for a person who likes to be spontaneous, and having margin means you can respond quickly to opportunities.

Like a couple of weeks ago: My friend Mark emailed me that he was in town that day. The email came in around 9:00 and we had lunch that day.

That was actually the start of a great week. Tuesday I had coffee with an executive I am coaching. Then had lunch with Jon - one of the Sunday Men.

On Wednesday I spent the afternoon with two more executive coaching clients.

I had lunch with Justin on Thursday. That afternoon, I went to see Toy Story 3 with Laura, Jennifer, Shannon, Landrie & Karsyn (5 of the seven significant ladies in my life).

On Friday afternoon, I had another executive coaching session.

When the week began, I only had 2 things planned. By the end of the week, I'd had one of the best - and fullest - weeks I've had in a while.

There's a lesson here:

Margin provides freedom. But with that freedom comes the responsibility to use it wisely and invest in others.

I think I will call that the stewardship of margin.

The Benefits of Margin - Part 1

These days I have a lot of margin in my schedule. One of the benefits of this is that I am getting a lot of reading done.

I try to vary the reading so that it is balanced: History, Biography, Leadership, Theology, and some novels. Laura always gets concerned when I read with a pencil in my hand. She knows that it is not "light" reading when I underline and write in the margins.

I have also developed the habit of reading more than one book at a time. I have books I read in the morning during my "quiet time." (By the way - I don't like that phrase. Its way too churchy for me, but I don't know what else to call it. If you have suggestions for an alternate label, please let me know). I just finished another of the John MacArthur Old Testament studies - Losing the Promised Land. I am not sure what I will read next in this slot.

Then I have books I read when I am riding the bike at the gym. Yes, I do that - because I need something to keep my mind occupied for 45-60 minutes. The current gym book is What is God Really Like? It is edited by Craig Groeschel and contains several chapters written by pastors who participate in the One Prayer project.

Then I have books I read at night. I read myself a bedtime story. Right now, I am alternating between a novel: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and a biography: John Adams. These books are competing for my attention; the dragon tattoo has been winning the last few days.

After 25 years of being gainfully overemployed, having so much margin has required some adjustments on my part. I am finding a new normal in a schedule that is not packed wall-to-wall with meetings, presentations, and other events. Actually, this new normal fits my preference for non-structured and spontaneous living very well.

I am blessed to have margin.

Bad Leadership - Part 1

“Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
Who take you where you should not go.”

(from George Harrison, Beware of Darkness)

The desire to be a positive and impactful leader has created an entire industry on leadership development. The content of the vast majority of leadership development offerings is based on the skills that we need to develop.

While books and seminars may be helpful, there is nothing like experience for teaching us how to lead. And if we have a learning mindset, we can learn in any situation – including bad ones. In fact, I think I learned more from bad leaders than good ones. I learned what not to do.

In her book, Bad Leadership, Harvard professor Barbara Kellerman develops a framework for understanding several forms of ineffective and/or unethical leadership.

While the book emphasizes leadership, she makes a compelling case concerning the role of followers in creating, allowing, and perpetuating bad leadership.

The seven types of bad leadership are:

1. Incompetent: The leader and some of his/her followers lack the will or skill to sustain effective action.

2. Rigid: The leader and his/her followers are stiff, unyielding, and unwilling to adapt to new ideas, new information or changing times.

3. Intemperate: The leader lacks self-control and is aided and abetted by followers who do not intervene.

4. Callous: The leader is uncaring or unkind; he/she ignores or discounts the needs of the rest of the organization, or of stakeholders.

5. Corrupt: These leaders lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top position putting self interest above all else.

6. Insular: They disregard or minimize the health and welfare of those outside the core group.

7. Evil: Some leaders and their followers commit atrocities and/or tragedies.

Legacy Marriage

One of the big ideas I have learned over the last several years is that God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others.

Too often we see only the material blessings. But one area where I have experienced tremendous blessing is in my relationships.

And the greatest relationship I have is with my Proverbs 31 woman! For 31+ years now I have been blessed to have a great marriage. And it just keeps getting better all the time.

Because we have been blessed in our marriage, we have a passion to bless others with the principles that have guided us and the lessons we have learned. For over 20 years, we have sought opportunities to invest intentionally in the lives of younger couples. This has been fleshed out in a variety of venues: Sunday school classes, classes taught at our church, small group settings in homes, and retreats we facilitated for couples. But perhaps the greatest venue in which we have done this is simply doing life with our couple friends.

Late last fall, I began to explore a vision of intentionally investing in other couples who would then invest in other couples. Those of you familiar with my Legacy Logic concept will recognize this pattern. But its not original with me. Paul gave similar instructions to Timothy (2 Timothy 2:2):

"The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also."

As this vision developed, I began to think about this in terms of Legacy. I know … that doesn’t surprise anybody. But, Legacy Marriage really seemed to be a good name for this ministry.

So let me give you my definition of Legacy Marriage:

A Legacy Marriage is a marriage that is a blessing to us now, and that will be a blessing to others for generations to come.

I shared my emerging vision with The Sunday Men and they enthusiastically affirmed the idea. So, this spring The Sunday Men became the Sunday Couples for a season and we worked our way through some key scriptures that provide a solid foundation for building the kind of marriage that blesses us as a couple, blesses our children, our grandchildren, blesses those around us, and that will be a blessing for generations to come.

The first eight installments of Legacy Marriage are:

God’s Blueprint for Marriage (Genesis 2:18-25)

Preparing the Soil, Laying the Foundation (Psalm 127:1; Proverbs 24:3-4; Genesis 2:24-25)

Framing the Relationships: Roles and Responses (Ephesians 5:21-33; Mark 10:35-45; Titus 2:1-5)

What Every Marriage Needs to Succeed

The Principle of Reciprocity (Ephesians 5:21-33; Philippians 2:3-4)

Love Languages

How to Have a Good Fight (Ephesians 4:25-32)

Bricks That Build a Marriage (1 Peter 3: 1- 9 )

As we worked our way through these lessons, I prepared two sets of documents. Set one is the discussion guide for the participants. The second set is the teaching notes for the facilitator. Its my prayer than some of these couples will now take this material and teach it to other couples. Over the summer I plan to develop at least four more lessons in this series.

And, I hope to invest in another set of couples soon, who will then apply the Legacy Marriage principles in their home and then pass it on to others.

The Sunday Men - Part 3

The Sunday Men have been meeting for 3 years now. As we take a break this summer, I am reflecting on where we have been … and thinking about where we should go from here.

Here’s what we’ve done in our studies since the fall of 2007:

Legacy Leadership: The Leadership Wisdom of the Apostle Paul

James

Your Work Matters to God (Doug Sherman)

1 Peter

The Measure of a Man (Gene Getz)

Philippians

Our format has been a facilitated discussion. We study, ask and answer questions, and apply the scriptures to our lives.

The discussions have been richly stimulating as we have wrestled with understanding and applying God's Word to our lives.

Our trip through the four chapters of Philippians took 14 weeks! It was the third time I have led a group through that wonderful epistle in the last twenty years. And I am pretty sure there were some new verses added this time that weren't there before!

What a wonderful experience to get to do life with a group of men who are passionate about making a difference for Christ' sake!

The Sunday Men - Part 2

Take J.Lee to W0rk

I always said that if I was ever to become a pastor, one of the things I would like to do is visit the members of the flock in their work environments.

Early on in the life of The Sunday Men, I announced that I would like to schedule a time with each of them. I wanted to come to their work place and take a tour of the place where they spend such a significant portion of their time and energy. I wanted to understand their world, their passions, and their challenges. My purpose was to enter in to their world so that I would be able to more effectively invest in each of them.

Well, in what I now realize is Sunday Men protocol, this initiative received a name: “Take J.Lee to Work.”

You can take your daughter to work, you can take your son to work, and now you can take J.Lee to work.

This project exceeded my expectations as I learned more about each man and learned about new businesses and industries. This was great way to help me make my intentional investment in these men even more effective.

The Sunday Men - Part 1

Several days ago I was doing some clean up in my study at home. I came across a folded piece of paper with several names written in a circle. It took me a few seconds, but then I realized that it was the seating chart that Marc had prepared for me after the first meeting of a group of guys that had gathered for a Bible study they had asked me to lead. I walked into a stranger’s house that morning and only knew 1 person in the entire group.

They are no longer strangers and over the next few posts, I want to share with you some of my thoughts about these men ...

In the Spring of 2007, I had the opportunity to attend the LEAD program at Dallas Theological Seminary. LEAD is an acronym for Leadership Evaluation and Development.

This is an intensive 5-day leadership development retreat that provides coaching for couples in three areas: Marriage, Ministry, and Career. The program requires intensive pre-work that includes a battery of assessments, the preparation of a detailed life map, and a 360 evaluation. One of the outcomes is the preparation of a strategic life plan based on your experiences and your gifts. We had to write goals for the next 5 years of our life.

One of my goals was to begin intentionally investing in younger men.

It was one of those things that I was compelled to write down, but wasn’t sure how it would be actualized or implemented. So, I gave that goal to God in prayer and waited.

In August of that year, I received an email from my friend Marc. He said that he and some of his friends had a desire to start a Bible study. He had contacted our pastor who suggested that Marc contact me to see if he could use my Legacy Leadership study. Knowing my schedule during that season, Marc timidly asked if I might be interested in leading them through those materials.

And then he said that the best – in fact, the only - time that would work for them was Sunday mornings at 8AM!

Yuk! If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am NOT a morning person.

I came downstairs and said to Laura, “You won’t believe the email I just got from Marc.” I told her about his request and Laura’s response was “Sunday morning??? That’s your only downtime.”

And then without any hesitation she added, “But that’s your passion!”

Indeed it is, and it was an answer to the goal I had written down three months earlier at the LEAD session.

So we began a Bible study with a group of men who are executives and key leaders in their organizations – men of position and power who want to use their influence to make a difference for the Lord’s sake in their work, their churches, their communities, and their families.

I call them The Sunday Men.

Five Slides for Thinking About Church

Legendary CEO Jack Welch suggests that we should be able to boil a strategy down to a Five Slide presentation that answers the following questions:

• What does the Playing Field Look Like Now?
• What has the Competition Been Up To?
• What have You Been Up To?
• What's Around the Corner?
• What's Your Winning Move?

I like this approach and in fact we teach our students to answer these questions as a way of presenting their strategic analysis in our graduate level Strategic Management classes.

Over the last several months, I have been re-thinking several issues concerning the local church. Specifically, I have been wrestling with what it means to be a “Biblically Functioning Church.”

Now, let me be clear, I am not necessarily talking about issues of doctrine – although there are some doctrinal issues that inform this quest.

As I have been wrestling with this issue, I have developed my own version of the 5 Slides:

Slide 1: What is your governing structure? This is about accountability. Is there a local body of elders who are accountable for the teaching and ministry of the church?

Slide 2: What is your leadership philosophy? Lording Authoritarian or Servant Leadership? Command and Control or Empowering and Releasing? How are staff members treated? How are volunteers treated?

Slide 3: What is your stewardship philosophy? Do you live beneath your means and are you generous? How does your stewardship of resources reflect the priorities of ministry? Is there a transparency in the preparation and reporting of the budget? How do you pay vendors who provide services for the church? Are they paid in full and on-time?

Slide 4: How is your commitment to making disciples manifested in the activities and programs of your church? How is your commitment to reaching lost and unchurched people in your community demonstrated? Is there a balance between evangelism and discipleship?

Slide 5: If someone with the gift of pastor-teacher joined your church, how would you deploy them in serving? This could apply to any gift. How will the spiritual gifts of the people in your church be used to serve God and His people?

The answers to these questions will help you determine if the church is indeed a “Biblically Functioning Church”?

Moral Authority

As you know, one of my favorite leaders is Andy Stanley. His books The Next Generation Leader and Visioneering have been required reading in the advanced MBA courses I teach.


In this months edition of Catalyst there's a short video of Andy talking about a crucial matter of importance to all leaders.


Take a few minutes to watch and listen.

Do you have moral authority?

Books of April

April was a good month for reading.

Of course, that long flight to and from Maui helped. Thank you Justin and Shannon!

The Blessed Life, Robert Morris
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, Jamie Ford
The Christian Atheist, Craig Groeschel
A House Divided, John MacArthur
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, David Wroblewski
The Priesthood of Every Believer, David Dawson

Planning on a lot of novels this summer.

The stack has been created and is waiting!

The Road to Derailment - Part 2

Several years ago I made an observation about the various televangelist that I found so appalling in their greed and manipulation. Often when questioned about their motives and methods, they responded by saying that they were only accounatable to God.

My observation was this: When a man says he's only accountable to God, its just a matter of time before he falls.

I have seen this pattern repeat itself over and over.

Certainly as leaders, we are accountable to God. But we are also accountable to each other. The Apostle Paul was clear about this in 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12:

"You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

We are accountable to God. But He also brings other people into our lives to help administer that accountability. Unfortunately, leaders on the path to derailment allow arrogance to take root and refuse to hear the wise counsel of those who are trying to tell them about their blindspots.

As leaders we need to hear the voice of those who love and care enough about us and warn us. We need to keep listening even when its painful.

Dietrich Bonoeffer said that "When a man stop's listening to his brother, its simply a matter of time before he stops listening to God."

Are you still listening to your brother?

Are you still listening to God?

Just Maui'd

We had a great week in Maui conducting and celebrating Justin and Shannon's wedding!

What an honor to get to do the ceremony for them.

And what a place!

I always thought that the Garden of Eden where God Himself conducted the very first wedding was a forest-type environment with lots of green foilage.

But now I think it might have been on Makena Beach in Maui with the waves crashing against the lava rocks in the background.

I am so happy for Justin and Shannon!

I always wanted 4 daughters and I couldn't have asked for a better addition to the family!

ROAD TRIP!

“I wish I was in Austin
In the Chili Parlor Bar
Drinkin' Mad Dog Margaritas
And not carin' where you are”

For several years now I have wanted to experience this line from Guy Clark’s Dublin Blues.

Well …

Saturday afternoon Jennifer, Jordan and I drove to Austin to deliver on their birthday present: we had tickets to the Elton John concert Saturday night!

Before the concert we met our friend Nicci for dinner.

Then we drove over to the Erwin center and encountered a huge traffic and parking jam. Fortunately, my dear “Old Friend” Rick provided complementary parking at his facility on San Jacinto. Thanks Rick!

Seeing Elton John was at the top of Jordan’s Bucket List. So, we bought these tickets for her and Jennifer as their birthday present in March. I am not sure I have ever seen so much anticipation and excitement in my life. And when Elton came on stage Saturday night, I was seriously worried for the health and safety of all the people sitting around us!

All the anticipation was well worth it. This concert was by far the greatest live performance I have ever seen. For right at 3 hours, Elton played his guts out. The band actually took a couple of breaks, but he played on. A tremendous performance by a truly gifted artist!

And after the concert ... we went to the Chili Parlor Bar and drank a Mad Dog Margarita!

" A good idea at the time; I won’t be doing that again," but I will sing that line from Guy’s song with special affection from now on.

The Road to Derailment - Part 1

Sadly, I have been watching some very influential leaders derail over the last couple of years. Its tragic ... and it could have been avoided.

All of us who take on the role of leadership are susceptible to derailment. So, I think its important to share some important preventive measures. To do this I am going to build on an acrostic I learned at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp in Estes Park Colorado in August of 1974.

(When Laura reads this she will say: "How is it you can remember something from August 1974, but you can't remember what I said 10 minutes ago?" So let me go ahead and make a preemptive plea: Guilty as charged.)

I don't remember who was speaking that August night, but he shared an important principle used by people in recovery groups: The H-A-L-T principle. Never get too hungry, too angry, too lonely, or too tired. When we are in any of those conditions, we are particularly vulnerable.

I want to expand the acrostic as a derailment preventative for leaders:

H-A-L-T-E-R.

H: Never get too hungry. Don't let your physical hungers get out of hand. We understand that. Satisfied needs are not motivators, and unsatisfied needs are powerful motivators. But beyond physical hungers, don't let your hunger for positions get out of hand. And don't let your hunger for possessions lead you to be too greedy. Hungry leaders are vulnerable to temptations.

A: Never get too angry. The Apostle Paul offers great advice on this in Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Keep short accounts, resolve conflict constructively, and if its not a federal case, don't make a federal case out of it.

L: Never get too lonely. As leaders, we must not allow the stress of the job and the pace of our schedules prevent us from nurturing our most significant personal relationships with our spouse and our family.

T: Never get too tired. The race we are called to as leaders is a marathon, not a sprint. We must pace ourselves so that we can stay in and finish the race we have been called to. We must learn to allow ourselves the discomfort of taking time off. The organization will not go broke and no one will die if we commit to taking a date night once a week, a weekend get away once a quarter, and a full - technology free - vacation once a year. When we are depleted, our fuses are short and our decision making suffers.

E: Never get too entitled. Success brings it own downside for many leaders. After working hard to attain positions and build organizations, many leaders often feel they deserve extra benefits and compensation. Often, they begin feeling entitled to extra perks that often are in violation of accepted standards or prudent stewardship of the organization's resources.

R: Never get to remote. Leaders who lose touch with those they lead are setting themselves up to falter. I have challenged city managers and university presidents on this issue. Too often as leaders move up in their organizations they forget where they came from and lose touch with the people in the trenches. This isolation isn't healthy relationally and it also cuts off an important flow of information. Remote and isolated leaders are out of touch with the pulse - the heartbeat - of the organization. This becomes even more acute in organizations that consciously filter the information flowing to the top. The "palace guard" keeps the leader from knowing what's really going on.

Do you have a derailment halter?

Servant Leader or Self-Serving Leader?

Leading Like Jesus

"You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them."But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Servant leadership was modeled by Jesus and is applicable to every arena of our lives:

Family – as Spouses and Parents
Church - serving God by serving people
Work – with or without formal authority

When we embrace the concept of servant leadership, we will understand that it is:

A Responsibility, not a Rank

Involves Sacrifice at the expense of Selfishness

Is a Duty, and there is no room for Domination

Is Intentional about Developing Others

Is Measured by Changed Lives

Are you a servant leader or a self-serving leader?

The Books of March

The reading pace has slowed significantly. I haven't found anything really exciting in a while. This is the list from March:

• Roses, Leila Meachum
• Credibility: How Leaders Gain it and Lose It and Why People Demand It, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
• The End of an Era, John MacArthur
• Leading When it Hurts, Jeff Iorg

The new book from Craig Groeschel came Friday - The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living as if He Didn't Exist. I am excited about that one. Groeschel is a very authentic speaker and author.

I am close to finishing a good novel, On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet.

Appearance vs Reality

Several years ago my wife and I attended the live broadcast of an early morning news show on one of the major networks. We were excited to see the people we watch every morning up close and personal. Being in the studio that morning we were able to see how the show was put on. And we were able to see the stars of the show when the cameras were rolling and when they weren’t.

Perhaps I was naive, but what I saw deeply disappointed me. The lead anchor was aloof and rude to the support staff during the commercial breaks when the cameras weren’t rolling. She then transformed herself completely when the show returned to the live broadcast. The person we had been watching, and admiring, every morning for years wasn’t the same person when the cameras weren’t on.

This episode reminds me of some “advice” that Machiavelli provided in The Prince, his class book on the acquisition and retention of power.

“A prince, therefore, need not necessarily have all the good qualities I mentioned above, but he should certainly appear to have them. I would even go so far as to say that if he has these qualities and always behaves accordingly he will find them harmful; if he only appears to have them they will render him service. He should appear to be compassionate, faithful to his word, kind, guileless, and devout. A prince, then, must be very careful not to say a word which does not seem inspired by the five qualities I mentioned earlier. To those seeing and hearing him, he should appear a man of compassion, a man of good faith, a man of integrity, a kind and a religious man. And there is nothing so important as to seem to have this last quality.

Men in general judge by their eyes rather than by their hands; because everyone is in a position to watch, few are in a position to come in close touch with you. Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are. The common people are always impressed by appearances and results.”

I don’t know about you, but I have an internal radar that helps me spot a fake. Something in me seems to prompt me when someone isn’t sincere. They just don’t seem real. Everything they say and do comes across as an act. They seem to be performing a role and I am left wondering who they really are.

Leaders worth following do not engage in this kind of masquerade. Rather, they seek to live out the values they proclaim. While no leader is without gaps between their espoused and enacted values, legacy leaders constantly strive for a level of consistency. The appearance and the reality are lined up. There is no masquerade.

The Leadership Account - Part 3

Now that we have created our T-Account for Leadership and made the debits, we need to look at the credits.

Leadership is an Asset account. The normal balance is a debit balance. To increase the Leadership Account we debited. Now we are reducing - taking away - from the account, so these will be credits. These credits identify the behaviors and attitudes that need to be subtracted from every leader's life.

Again, we will be referencing The Legacy Leadership passage in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-2:12.

As I read this passage, I see 4 things that need to be subtracted. In fact, they should be absent from the Legacy Leader's account.

Deception: In the Greek, the phrase “by way of deceit” refers to trickery. Originally, it referred to using bait to catch fish. While we certainly want to use bait that hides the hook to catch fish, as Legacy Leaders our message and our methods should by pure. No hidden agenda, no bait and switch.

Flattery: Flattery has the idea of using remarks as means of obtaining some personal gain and involves the use of insincerity to persuade another to do what you want them to do. When Paul states that he “never came with flattering speech,” he denied that he was a smooth-talking preacher telling people what they wanted to hear. Thus, Paul asserts that he was not trying to make a favorable impression to obtain some personal advantage. He did not pursue goals that would meet with the approval of people or seek their praise for himself. While he and the other apostles may have deserved and received praise, that was not their motive.

Greed: As Legacy Leaders we should never come “with a pretext for greed.” Pretext refers to a mask that conceals the real motive. The word refers to the idea of putting forth something that is plausible, that may in fact be true in itself, but is not the real reason for performing an act. Again the idea of deception is at work here.

Greed refers to an inordinate desire to possess more and more. Greed doesn't stop with healthy competition. It goes way past that and becomes an obsession with more - more money, more territory, larger crowds, bigger buildings, and even greed for more personal attention and fame. Like any addiction, greed is never satisfied and it takes more and more to satisfy its demand. Greed in any and all of its forms is ugly and derails many leaders.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul takes this on by saying that greed, among other things, should not even be named among us (Ephesians 5: 3-4).

Lording Authoritarianism: When some of the disciples were debating among themselves about who would sit where in the Lord's coming Kingdom, Jesus confronted their self-centered concerns by pointing to the Gentiles whose leaders "lorded it over them." Then, he continued by telling them, "It should not be so among you."

I have worked for some bosses - I won't call them leaders - who "lorded it over" me and my coworkers. They yelled, threatened, demanded and relied on the power to fire us to get us to do their bidding. In the short run this may work: We complied to avoid punishment; but, there was no long-term commitment.

Those of us who hold leadership positions certainly have legitimate power bases because of our formal authority. But, Legacy Leaders don’t rely on their formal authority. They understand that the best influence comes when we don't assert our authority.

Paul understood this. The phrase “even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority” refers to demands he might have made on the Thessalonians for physical and financial support. Rather than doing this, Paul worked night and day so as not to be a burden. He lived on what he earned as a tent-maker and the offerings from the Philippians. By earning his own way, Paul further demonstrated the purity of his motives which, in turn, gave him a platform for influence that did not rely on the authority of his title or position.

He reiterates this point and again emphasizes it in his second letter to the Thessalonians the importance of leaders modeling the behavior they seek to see developed in their followers. In 2 Thessalonians 3:7–9, Paul says:

“For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example”[emphasis added].

Examine your Leadership Account.

Are there some attitudes and behaviors that need to removed?

The Leadership Account - Part 2

Now that you have created your T-account for Leadership, we need to start making some entries into that account.

Today’s entries will be based on things we need to add to the account. Remember, Leadership is an asset account, and we are adding these to the account. So, these will be debits.

As a context for us, I would like you to read what I call “the Legacy Leadership passage” in Paul’s 1st letter to the Thessalonians 1: 1 Thessalonians 1:2-2:12

“For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed--God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority.

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.

You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

As I read this account I see several positive characteristics that need to be added to our leadership account:

Sensitivity to Needs: Legacy Leaders are aware of the needs of their constituents and work hard so as not to add to their burden. This awareness is possible because Legacy Leaders are “among you.” There aren't barriers and a great deal of distance between the leader and those they are leading.

Sincere Affection for People: Legacy Leaders are genuinely interested in the people they serve through their leadership. Paul was a rough and tumble kind of guy, yet he was totally transparent in his affection for these people. In contrast to the many macho pseudo-leaders we see today, Paul was comfortable displaying the gentleness and “fond affection" that characterizes a “nursing mother tenderly caring for her own children.”

Authentic Engagement: Because Paul was among the Thessalonians, he could call on them as character witnesses of the type of life he lived because they saw him up close and personal. He not only shared the gospel with them, but his own life as well. This is a great picture of the vulnerability with which Legacy Leaders interact with the people they lead.

Enthusiastic Encouragement: Legacy Leaders are intensely intentional in helping people grow and become all that God designed them to be. Like a father, Paul was encouraging, exhorting, and imploring “each one” of the Thessalonians.

This tells me he was actively involved with each individual and customized his approach to meet their specific needs. Yet, he was always clearly focused on his intent: “so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

This demonstrates the definition of Legacy Leadership: Legacy Leadership is intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship.

Can you book these characteristics in your Leadership Account?

The Leadership Account - Part 1

The first C that I made in school came during my first semester in the MBA program at The University of Texas at Arlington.

I made a false assumption that because I was pretty good in math, I would do well in accounting. Bad assumption! I could not figure out why when you increased some accounts you debited them, while increasing other accounts you credited them. Why couldn’t they be consistent???

When the report card for that semester came, I was pretty sure the sun wouldn’t come up the next day. I was devastated.

A few years later, I was teaching economics at Tarrant County Junior College - One class, two nights a week, at the way-out-there Northwest Campus. So, I asked if there was another class that I could teach on those nights to make the drive more worthwhile. They said, “Well we have a Principles of Accounting class. Would you like to teach that?” I immediately responded, “Sure. I can do that!”

Well … You don’t really learn something until you to teach it to someone else.

Fortunately for me, the text had a chart on the rules of normal balance for all of the different types of accounts. It also showed what to do – debit or credit – if you were increasing or decreasing that account. Finally, the logic of accounting began to make sense to me!

I don’t know how many times I repeated these phrases that semester:

"What kind of account is it?" Class Response in Unison: "It’s an asset."

"What are we trying to do?" Class Response in Unison: "Increase it."

"So what do we need to do?" Class Response in Unison: "Debit the account!"


Now when you read “Class Response in Unison” you need to think about the scene from Leave it to Beaver:

Ms. Landers: “Good Morning Class”
Class Response in Unison: “Good Morning Ms. Landers!”

Now that y’all are up to speed on accounting, I would like to apply your understanding to leadership. If we were accounting for Leadership, how would we “book it”?

Well, “What kind of account is Leadership?”
In unison now: “It’s an Asset Account.”

Very good. As leaders there are several things we need to add to our account. Those will be debit entries. And there are several things that need to be subtracted. Those will be credits. And because leadership is an asset account, the normal balance for the Leadership Account is a debit.

In my next few posts I will be discussing the Leadership Account. So, go ahead and create a T-Account labeled Leadership.

We will walk our way through some important journal entries that all of us as leaders need to make.

Before we do, let me ask:

What is the balance in your Leadership Account?

Reading 2010 So Far

It’s been a while since I posted a list of the books I have read.

In fact, it's been a while since I have posted anything. The situation that prompted my Amen or Oh Me post has been dominating my thoughts for several weeks. On that situation I have finally settled on Oh Me!

Now for books. As you know, I read a variety of books. I am not a speed reader, but I am a persistent reader. I read every weekday morning during my quiet time. I read on the "cardio days" at the gym while riding the stationary bike. And, I read every night before I go to sleep.

I wasn’t always a reader. I think I caught the reading bug as a student at Austin College. There was a ton of required reading, but I also found myself wanting to dig deeper into the subjects and began reading beyond the requirements. And of course now, I read for a living!

Here’s what I have read so far.

More accurately, this is what I have finished so far this year. In accordance with generally accepted accounting principles, I only record a book as read when it is completed. Some books, like Theodore Rex are multiple month endeavors. Some are multiple year endeavors!

I highly recommend the books that are italicized and bold-faced. Beware: Theodore Rex will require a long march, but it is well worth it. Theodore Roosevelt emerged from that book as my favorite presidential leader!

Books 2010

January
1. Crazy Love, Frances Chan
2. Derailed, Tim Irwin
3. Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity, Mark Batterson
4. Just Walk Across the Room, Bill Hybels
5. Finally in the Land, John MacArthur
6. Lifetime Guarantee, Bill Gillham

February
1. Fascinating Lives of Forgotten Saints, Chuck Swindoll
2. Prophets, Priests, and Kings: The Lives of Samuel and Saul, John MacArthur
3. Theodore Rex, Edmund Morris
4. Holy Ambition, Chip Ingrum
5. Leadership: Influence that Inspires, Chuck Swindoll

Amen or Oh Me?

Twenty years ago I attended a church that was pastored by a very dynamic speaker. He liked the congregation to interact with him as he was preaching and when he made an important point, he would ask “Amen or Oh Me?” The expectation of course was that we would respond with an affirming “Amen!”

It was new to me and very interesting. And for a while, I had no problem affirming his points. But then he took a disturbing turn in his preaching and I found myself thinking “Oh Me!” more and more frequently.

This culminated for me during a series of messages he preached on Ephesians chapter 6 where Paul encourages us to put on the “full armor of God.” If you’re familiar with this passage you know there are several pieces of this armor: Leg protection of truth, breastplate of righteousness, gospel shoes, shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation

The problem came when 4 weeks of messages were devoted to the idea that the “shield of faith” was God manifesting his power in and through the saints with signs and wonders. There is absolutely no way to interpret that passage as “signs and wonders.” The shield is a defensive weapon with a cork covering to extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy. Yet, he continued to stress this, and ask the congregation to affirm this wrong teaching. When others would respond “Amen,” I had to say “Oh Me!”

We were seriously off course. I met with the pastor to discuss my concerns and told him clearly that he was off-base and had taught that passage completely out of context. He responded that the passage was “dripping with the power of God.” I said, “Maybe so, but there is absolutely no way that the shield is about signs and wonders.” As I persisted, he finally relented and said, “Maybe your right, but sometimes you have to stretch things some in order to bring people along.”

I was appalled. I told him he was wrong. We left that church right away.

But the whole episode taught me an important lesson: Too many people allow their pastors and teachers to study God’s word for them and tell them what it says. This is dangerous. Creative and charismatic communicators exert a lot of influence. Too often people are caught up in the delivery and don’t pause to examine the substance.

I think this episode has lessons for leaders and followers in any environment. First for leaders: we need to be fully aware of the esteem in which some people hold us, and we need to make sure we are worthy of that esteem. We also need to be aware of the power we have because of our position. People are dependent on us and we need to handle their dependence delicately. We need to be careful that we don't take advantage of people's esteem and approval. That's why I keep coming back to the "what is your motive?" theme.

The episode has implications for followers as well. Loyal followers don't follow blindly or unquestioningly. They follow with their eyes open and ask questions when things seem out of line. When a leader seems headed in the wrong direction, loyal followers raise a flag. Good followers don't let their leaders derail by not challenging them or failing to discuss their leader's blindspots.

This experience challenged me to rethink my own teaching. I realized that there are a lot of people who listen to – and even appreciate my teaching in the various venues in which I teach. But, I realized that I had a moral obligation to make sure that I was not abusing my position or taking advantage of their approval of me.

So, I decided that I would change my teaching approach to facilitate my students to interact with the text themselves, to make their own observations and interpretations, and not rely solely on me. My approach shifted to more of a facilitator role and less of a lecturer role. I began requiring my students to open their Bibles and study it for themselves.

I continue to be amazed at how so many smart people seem to check their minds at the door in two venues: the voting booth and the church.

We are told to love the Lord with our whole hearts, our whole souls, and our whole minds. We should use them.

And as Christ-followers we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit to assist our discernment. If we don't understand something, we are told to ask the Lord for wisdom. And we are promised that He will give it to us generously.

As followers, we really have no excuse for following blindly.

And as leaders, we have a moral obligation not to ask our followers to do so.


Amen or Oh Me?